krake
Crimson Soul
Posts: 79
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JOKES!
Aug 7, 2014 21:59:50 GMT -5
Post by krake on Aug 7, 2014 21:59:50 GMT -5
A man comes to confession and repents for being with Hoochie Green several times that week. When he leaves another man comes in a repents for being with Hoochie Green several times that week. This goes on all day.
At Sunday Mass the Priest is standing up front with the Alter boy when a gorgeous woman walks in, dressed fully in green. She has a low cut green blouse, a green mini skirt, green shoes, green gloves, a green hat and sheer green stockins and she is built like a brick shit house. She walks right to the front row and sits straight in front of the priest and spreads her legs.
The Priest leans over to the Alter boy and asks "is that Hoochie Green?" to which the Alter boy replies "no sir, I think the stockings make it look that way"
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JOKES!
Aug 8, 2014 17:00:35 GMT -5
Post by LonelyForsaken on Aug 8, 2014 17:00:35 GMT -5
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"
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JOKES!
Oct 17, 2017 16:27:34 GMT -5
Post by LonelyForsaken on Oct 17, 2017 16:27:34 GMT -5
A new addition to Chemistry's Periodic Table
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element
yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv),
has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons,
and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an
atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has
no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected,
because it impedes every action with which it comes into
contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
would normally take less than a second, to take from four
days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal
half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over
time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to
become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of
moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money,
Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that
radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has
half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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