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JOKES!
Feb 24, 2004 14:23:57 GMT -5
Post by _black phoenix_ on Feb 24, 2004 14:23:57 GMT -5
Q: why did the koala fall out of the tree?
A: it was dead.
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JOKES!
Feb 24, 2004 14:57:47 GMT -5
Post by deranged85 on Feb 24, 2004 14:57:47 GMT -5
lmao! ;D oh, thats so great!!!!
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JOKES!
Feb 26, 2004 18:16:18 GMT -5
Post by doppelganger on Feb 26, 2004 18:16:18 GMT -5
I don't know if anyone heard this one before.... What did two lesbian vampires say to each other?
See ya next month....
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JOKES!
Mar 1, 2004 3:04:03 GMT -5
Post by deranged85 on Mar 1, 2004 3:04:03 GMT -5
sort of like the koala one... but...
why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.
why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.
i laughed my ass off when my friend selina told me that...
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JOKES!
Mar 1, 2004 16:56:22 GMT -5
Post by _black phoenix_ on Mar 1, 2004 16:56:22 GMT -5
ok, so there are these two cannibals sitting in a cave eating a clown. the first one goes to the second, " does this taste funny to you?"
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JOKES!
Mar 3, 2004 0:35:17 GMT -5
Post by _black phoenix_ on Mar 3, 2004 0:35:17 GMT -5
Little Amber was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence.
Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Amber?"
"My goldfish died," replied Amber tearfully,without looking up. "And I've just buried him".
The neighbour was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish isn't it?"
Amber patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "that's because he's inside your f*cking cat."
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JOKES!
Mar 3, 2004 7:44:37 GMT -5
Post by jyrascarn on Mar 3, 2004 7:44:37 GMT -5
Here's a slightly longer one ...
THE LEGLESS PARROT
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeeps. I wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a disabled parrot." "Holy shit," the guy replies, "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird." "Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "then answer me this: how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?" "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing, but since you ask, I'll tell you. I wrap my willie around this wooden perch like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers." "Wow", says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't you!?" "Actually, I also speak Spanish, German and French, and I've a smattering of Italian. I can also converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, advanced physics and philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology which, as you know, is the study of birds. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion." The guy looks at the ?500 price tag pinned to the cage. "Sorry, but I just don't have that sort of money. I can't afford you." "Psssssssst", says the parrot, "I'm disabled, so the truth is, nobody wants me because I don't have any feet. I have to hang on to my perch with my willie. You can probably get me for ?50, just make the pet-shop owner an offer." The guy offers the owner ?50 and walks out of the shop with the parrot. Weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, and is the best pet anyone could ever want. The guy is delighted. One day he comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssst", and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman." "What are you talking about?", asks the guy. "When the postman came this morning just after you'd gone to work, your wife greeted him at the door dressed in a see-through black nightie and kissed him passionately." "WHAT??", the guy asks incredulously, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?" "Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her see-through nightie and began petting her all over", reported the parrot. "My God!", he exclaims, "then what". "Then he started to lick her body, starting with her boobs, and slowly working his way down . . . . . . . ." "WELL??", demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?" "f*cked if I know. I got a hard on and fell off my perch."
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JOKES!
Mar 3, 2004 17:55:36 GMT -5
Post by Reaper696 on Mar 3, 2004 17:55:36 GMT -5
Good one dude. It reminds me of one...
Why don't lesbians wear make-up when they go on a diet?
It's hard to eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face...
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JOKES!
Apr 2, 2004 14:01:01 GMT -5
Post by Kitten on Apr 2, 2004 14:01:01 GMT -5
:giggles:
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Lileth
Crimson Soul
REBEL SHEEP SAY "mmmooooooo"
Posts: 76
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JOKES!
Apr 7, 2004 17:40:11 GMT -5
Post by Lileth on Apr 7, 2004 17:40:11 GMT -5
hahahaHAHAhehe i dont have any yet but loved a couple of these still laughin
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JOKES!
Apr 15, 2004 15:01:05 GMT -5
Post by angelofsuicide on Apr 15, 2004 15:01:05 GMT -5
two hookers were standing on a corner talking about all the bad shit thats happened to them in their life. one hooker said to the other "have you ever been picked up by the fuz?" the other hooker said "No but ive been swun around by the tits!"
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JOKES!
Apr 15, 2004 15:09:17 GMT -5
Post by angelofsuicide on Apr 15, 2004 15:09:17 GMT -5
ok ok heres on more This guy went to vist his wife in the hospital who was in a coma. when he got there he was kinda horny so he started playing with her tits. he was all squeezing them and she started to moan a little bit. so he started playing with the m more all licking her nipples and stuff, and she started moaning even more. the doctor walked in and was like whats going on. the guy was like doc! i think she might be waking up when i play with her tits she starts to moan. so the doctor said hmm well why dont you try oral sex and see if thats wakes her up? ill leave so you 2 can have some privacy. the guy walked out of the room with verry upset. the doctor was like whats wrong? the guy said shes dead . the doctor said what happend? the guy said she choked!
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JOKES!
Apr 28, 2004 0:25:50 GMT -5
Post by black phoenix on Apr 28, 2004 0:25:50 GMT -5
haha..
where do you find a dog with no legs?
right where you left it!
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JOKES!
Apr 28, 2004 15:59:36 GMT -5
Post by _black phoenix_ on Apr 28, 2004 15:59:36 GMT -5
what do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
bob.
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Lileth
Crimson Soul
REBEL SHEEP SAY "mmmooooooo"
Posts: 76
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JOKES!
May 4, 2004 19:53:03 GMT -5
Post by Lileth on May 4, 2004 19:53:03 GMT -5
what do you call an asian girl with no arms and no legs against a tree?
Irean....(i_lean) get it hahah i love these
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