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Post by Kitten on Dec 29, 2004 19:45:35 GMT -5
LOL
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Post by LORDMORNINGSTAR on Feb 15, 2005 15:03:31 GMT -5
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from BINGO to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent & ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th. floor apartment, killing him instantly.
Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her defense.
"Your Honor," she began cooly, "I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly." ;D
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Post by Reaper696 on Feb 15, 2005 15:44:47 GMT -5
Jeez...
What does a nun and public defender have in common?
Neither one can get you off...
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Post by DarkCloud on Mar 7, 2005 11:43:52 GMT -5
I have a dog and I'm selling it. Its a cross breed between a bulldog and a shitzsu. dogs name is BullShit!
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Post by Yossarian on Mar 7, 2005 14:42:26 GMT -5
;D good one!
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EbonyKiss
Dark Initiate
.:Beautifully Twisted:.
Posts: 54
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Post by EbonyKiss on Mar 9, 2005 18:12:10 GMT -5
A frog is hopping through the forest one day when he comes across a bear chasing a rabbit. Now this frog had never seen another animal in his life before because the forest was a big place so in his delight he stopped the two animals. "Stop!" he cried. "Because you are the only two animals I have ever set eyes upon apart from myself I will grant you both 3 wishes. Bear you may go first." The bear thought for a moment then grinned. "I wish that all the bears in this forest except me were female." "Granted" said the frog. "Now you rabbit." "I wish I had a helmet." said the rabbit and a shiny blue and red helmet appeared in it's paws. The bear gave the rabbit an odd look, wondering why it would waste a wish on something so silly. "Second wish bear." said the frog. "I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female too," said the bear. "Granted" said the frog. "Go on Rabbit." "I wish I had a motorbike." said the rabbit and a beautiful new bike appeared next to it. The bear stared as the rabbit threw his wishes away. "Third and final wish bear." said the frog. "Ok I wish that all the bears in the world, apart from me, were female." said the bear with a grin. "Granted," said the frog before turning to the rabbit. "And you're final wish rabbit?" The rabbit grinned too, strapped the helmet onto it's head, climbed on the bike, gunned the engine and said "I wish the bear was gay."
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Post by DarkCloud on Mar 11, 2005 12:01:46 GMT -5
hehehe.... a gay Bear! ;D
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Post by DarkCloud on Mar 11, 2005 12:04:08 GMT -5
ok what is the difference between, sex in an alley and sex in the bedroom?
sex in an alley- you're the man!
sex in the bedroom- oh..please.. don't flatter yourself!
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Post by calamityroo on Mar 12, 2005 19:02:51 GMT -5
Wow... I was having a shitty day and then I read these... These made my day so much better! Awesome... a gay bear...
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Post by DarkCloud on Mar 29, 2005 15:20:14 GMT -5
do you know farts have different colors..
for men it's color Blue!
for women its color Piinnnk..!
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Post by Aish on Apr 11, 2005 16:16:59 GMT -5
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms. Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms. The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying: "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
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Post by DarkCloud on Apr 13, 2005 17:25:13 GMT -5
Hahahahaha...... ;D ;D ;D
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Post by MirrorImage || egamIrorriM on Aug 11, 2005 23:43:43 GMT -5
why are housewives so bad at judging distance?
because their husbands keep telling them that this is six inches __________
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