|
Sunday
Nov 7, 2013 1:06:07 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by markusmagellus on Nov 7, 2013 1:06:07 GMT -5
I can't help but stutter watching you hop scotch through puddles, arms akimbo beneath the cold bruised sky, triumphantly childlike.
|
|
|
Sunday
Nov 9, 2013 10:06:58 GMT -5
Post by twistedangel on Nov 9, 2013 10:06:58 GMT -5
i have images of a proud dad watching his young son/daughter at play...tho not sure about how the speech impedament quite fits short but nice read
|
|
|
Sunday
Nov 10, 2013 18:45:11 GMT -5
Post by Aish on Nov 10, 2013 18:45:11 GMT -5
Nice simple piece. With the stutter I'm wondering if you're swooned by watching an adult in an unguarded moment, not a child. Very nice.
|
|
|
Sunday
Nov 11, 2013 13:39:45 GMT -5
Post by windfog on Nov 11, 2013 13:39:45 GMT -5
Agree. Very good short piece! W.F.
|
|
|
Sunday
Nov 12, 2013 12:08:00 GMT -5
Post by twistedangel on Nov 12, 2013 12:08:00 GMT -5
oh i do like Aish's image of this..loads better that me own take on this
|
|
|
Sunday
Nov 12, 2013 14:45:27 GMT -5
Post by Bastet on Nov 12, 2013 14:45:27 GMT -5
Hey, Markus nice offering. It's been raining here and this was the perfect thing for me to read. No picky-picky from me, it's sewn pretty tight.
|
|
|
Sunday
Nov 12, 2013 22:26:03 GMT -5
Post by markusmagellus on Nov 12, 2013 22:26:03 GMT -5
I really appreciate the feedback guys. Angel, I can see why you interpreted it the way you did. Aish nailed it. Maybe I can work on making it a little more clear.
|
|
|
Sunday
Nov 13, 2013 9:18:35 GMT -5
Post by twistedangel on Nov 13, 2013 9:18:35 GMT -5
dont you dare touch a thing LOL..IMO is awesome..its me own lack of imagination that let me down not your poem
|
|
|
Sunday
Nov 23, 2013 11:21:28 GMT -5
Post by Veritas on Nov 23, 2013 11:21:28 GMT -5
a snap-shot taken from some one I dont know... of others I dont know either...in a place Ive never been... I only know of its existance from/because of your willingness to expess your own experience... thanks
|
|
|
Sunday
Nov 28, 2013 4:48:22 GMT -5
Post by markusmagellus on Nov 28, 2013 4:48:22 GMT -5
Thank you sir.
|
|
jekyll
Dark Initiate
Posts: 10
|
Sunday
Nov 30, 2013 16:57:36 GMT -5
Post by jekyll on Nov 30, 2013 16:57:36 GMT -5
I think you should leave it as it is. I really think you tied it up nicely. I was able to find what it was in my mind it connected with without being force fed an idea. Thanks for sharing.
|
|
me
Crimson Soul
trying to land :_)
Posts: 122
|
Sunday
Jun 3, 2014 12:58:50 GMT -5
Post by me on Jun 3, 2014 12:58:50 GMT -5
free :_)
|
|
|
Sunday
Jun 4, 2014 1:42:16 GMT -5
Post by LonelyForsaken on Jun 4, 2014 1:42:16 GMT -5
"Childlike" is the word that cements the image of an adult. Reminds me of my first love. She loved the rain too. It is perfect as is. Thanks for sharing.
|
|