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Post by twistedangel on Oct 20, 2013 4:15:42 GMT -5
most inventions are beautiful technology created to kill
x the war that you seek to bring enemies to their knees kills all that you are
x the sword of justice wielding ultimate power with who to trust it ?
x handful of bad men hateful ideals brought to bare so the world now burns
x say,love thy neighbour over an over,until you start to believe
x really want to stop ? cos the make up sex is great or screw me over ? x
years roll,forgotten lonely limbless man,dont cry once,you were hero
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siksimon
Demon Disciple
Blind leading the blind.
Posts: 524
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Post by siksimon on Oct 20, 2013 10:29:12 GMT -5
most inventions are beautiful technology created to kill x the war that you seek to bring enemies to their knees kills all that you are x the sword of justice wielding ultimate power with who to trust it ? x handful of bad men hateful ideals brought to bare so the world now burns x say,love thy neighbour over an over,until you start to believe x really want to stop ? cos the make up sex is great or screw me over ? x years roll,forgotten lonely limbless man,dont cry once,you were hero WTF I just wrote a piece with seven three lined stanzas! Demon woman!
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Post by Veritas on Oct 21, 2013 12:04:38 GMT -5
Beauty of a right....rite... write....
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Post by Aish on Oct 22, 2013 12:01:44 GMT -5
Spectacular, Angel
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Oct 26, 2013 16:11:45 GMT -5
I never can seem to senryu like this. Guess I don’t love people like I do nature and haiku.
The wording of the last senryu does bother me a bit though. In particular; “were hero.” It is common yet I always feel it is an affront to refer to a hero as something that was and not is. Once a hero, always a hero. Hmmmm? I started looking for wording suggestions and it comes out corny and cliché; “you are my hero” LOL
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Post by twistedangel on Oct 27, 2013 3:19:56 GMT -5
heya LF .."were hero" is very deliberate am trying to tell of a horrid truth 18yr old has his legs blown off..comes home to a heroes welcome an his smiling face is seen on the news an in the papers..even the local council gets his house all done up for him as he then runs a marathon for charity..all good so far wot happens when he's 40 ?
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siksimon
Demon Disciple
Blind leading the blind.
Posts: 524
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Post by siksimon on Oct 27, 2013 12:07:32 GMT -5
We will have kick ass robotic legs by then I'm sure, then he could be a crazy cyborg fireman, and he'll prolly have like a grappling hook.
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Oct 27, 2013 17:23:04 GMT -5
heya LF .."were hero" is very deliberate am trying to tell of a horrid truth 18yr old has his legs blown off..comes home to a heroes welcome an his smiling face is seen on the news an in the papers..even the local council gets his house all done up for him as he then runs a marathon for charity..all good so far wot happens when he's 40 ? I know and thanks. I know your sentiments and appreciate them. I’m a bit sensitive to our perceptions. In the aftermath of tragedy it is too easy to sweep the mess under the rug and forget. It’s wrong, but that is what we want to do. It is not at all acceptable to me to forget wounded people. No job is finished until the mess is cleaned up. Forgetting is not cleaning. The man you refer to in particular or the 14 year old girl who is raped. She is told to forget it and even accused of causing his behavior because everyone just wants to forget and move on. So she commits suicide. Our soldiers often do too. When a hero comes back whole and is reunited with his family we can celebrate wholeheartedly but when a hero comes back with the stigma of tragedy we shy away. It’s hard not to. We owe him and his sacrifice was too much. Can you imagine, no arms and no legs? Is his wife strong enough to stick with the marriage? How is he going to play with his kids? His sacrifice continues for the rest of his life and we may feel gratitude and some sense of responsibility but we want no part in his suffering. So, he is a shunned hero when he needs us most. And that young girl, she is accused of doing wrong because there was no hero to protect her.
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