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Post by Aish on Oct 19, 2013 21:44:24 GMT -5
v2 south wind fireworks thunderheads writhe like dragons river frogs croak rain
---------------------------------------------------------------- v.1
south wind fireworks thunderheads move like dragons river frogs croak rain
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Post by twistedangel on Oct 20, 2013 3:22:25 GMT -5
nice simple solid imagery ..cool haiku think the only thing i would do different is change the word 'move' to somthing more dramatic sounding like 'writhe'
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Post by windfog on Oct 20, 2013 7:35:42 GMT -5
Simple and beautiful! W.
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Post by Aish on Oct 22, 2013 17:13:43 GMT -5
Thank you both.
Angel, good suggestion.
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Oct 27, 2013 15:18:55 GMT -5
Nice Haiku love the imagery and with Angel’s suggestion it seems perfect.
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Post by Aish on Oct 29, 2013 15:09:33 GMT -5
I like it, too >.<
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Post by Veritas on Nov 1, 2013 10:27:05 GMT -5
For whatever reason it makes me feel like roasting fish in a thatched hut... intuition, thunderheads... the world serpents, the earth bound frog, spirt totems summoning the cleansing rain. But I still wann roast a fishy
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Post by Moonstone Maiden on Nov 1, 2013 10:47:27 GMT -5
^ Veritas, how do you make everything seem mega-awesome? I don't eat fish but I can now smell it cooking & I'm salivating!
Thanks for sharing Ambs, I love the last line. How do you possibly evoke so much emotion & physical feeling with so few words? *strokes Ambs' Ego & scratches behind its ears as it purrs*
You are an artist I am constantly in awe of. I love the rain- so I love this poem so very much.
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Post by Bastet on Nov 1, 2013 16:21:01 GMT -5
You don't eat fishiez, Moonstone? Gotta eat fishiez. On nom nom.
Anyhooz, very pretty haiku, Aishy. It almost makes me miss the summer heat. This made me feel heavy, not in a bad way. I could totally put myself in the moment standing outside in the pregnant humid air waiting for the storm to start.
Nothing seems to be amiss.
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