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Post by twistedangel on Jun 28, 2013 11:11:09 GMT -5
Petals fall lightly Earth's insatiable hunger Shed no tear for her
Upon nameless mound Sits a Barrow-Wight's spirit Weeps for fallen stones
In age of iron Men stood firm facing their gods Plastic means nothing
Wolf became hunted The bear shrank away in fear Men are fire and spear
A mans calloused hands Real worker lover fighter Trust not soft fingers
You watch while I cut Soothing words mean so little Can't you take the knife ?
Early morning dew Diamonds glisten in the sun Some gems are priceless
Swim little fish swim All schools teachings are the same Don't fight the current
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Post by Aish on Jun 29, 2013 16:31:03 GMT -5
This is an exceptional collection, Angel. You have an amazing knack for writing senryu. The only crit I have is minor, by offering them in this manner I kept wanting to read them as one piece.
#1 is so organic and in step with the natural order of things I was almost taken aback by the simple truth of it.
#5 is something I could have written myself, so am very at home with it.
#8 is so true it almost made my head swim (no pun intended).
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Jul 3, 2013 10:12:13 GMT -5
Real wisdom;
A mans calloused hands Real worker lover fighter Trust not soft fingers
And you know value too;
Early morning dew Diamonds glisten in the sun Some gems are priceless
I like them all though. :-)
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Post by windfog on Jul 5, 2013 1:14:21 GMT -5
A real pleasure, lady, to read such good pieces! W.F.
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