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Post by 6sa6an6 on May 4, 2013 12:39:12 GMT -5
He took away my special time with a talk Defied our rule of meditation in mock I use to love him that he was my companion Now I hate him, no longer can I stand him Such a strong emotion brings energy to burst And what's desired is willed as thought becomes curse My anger boils, and my wrath just creeps like a hearse And my will be done with the ink to this verse Here on our night of meditation My feelings burn with such fierce dedication The hurt opens my senses and I burn in my Hell As I curse thee, my wicked brother, with the words of this spell My friend, you are in danger, my Demon it lurks Between cracks, between crevasses , and crannies and quirks And it watches like a Watcher, until it delivers these words Of this curse of my heart, by this raven, by these birds On our night of all nights, we shared it in the physical But your presence wasn't in it. We wasn't in it in the mental So I rage and I rage, and my Devil's ablazed And I swim the Leviathan, there, my magick burn flames Blackness, so black in a darkness that;s burnt And there's no ashes down here, down here in this dirt It's just wrath, and just anger, and hatred and these words Of these feelings, of this spell, and of you , whom I curse!.*..
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siksimon
Demon Disciple
Blind leading the blind.
Posts: 524
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Post by siksimon on May 6, 2013 14:02:45 GMT -5
Very raw and dynamic, and I love the way it keeps going back to that short I sound. Keep it up!
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siksimon
Demon Disciple
Blind leading the blind.
Posts: 524
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Post by siksimon on May 6, 2013 14:04:44 GMT -5
we shared it in the physical
I like this line, short a (shared) short i (it in) short i and a (physical)
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siksimon
Demon Disciple
Blind leading the blind.
Posts: 524
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Post by siksimon on May 6, 2013 14:05:27 GMT -5
Errr long A in shared nevermind but I still like the short i
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Post by 6sa6an6 on May 6, 2013 14:08:35 GMT -5
siksimon educate me please!
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siksimon
Demon Disciple
Blind leading the blind.
Posts: 524
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Post by siksimon on May 6, 2013 21:46:37 GMT -5
Oh well the way I see it, is as like couplets of vowel sounds. like as in (it in) is a couplet of that short I sound, and then beat, and then you have the first two syllables of physical which is the same two vowel sounds (phy si) and then another beat, so like 'we shared (it in) the (physi)cal'
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Post by windfog on May 7, 2013 3:27:02 GMT -5
Hi! Me too who has such "friends". I understand this piece perhaps in my own way but it very close to yours. Very good piece! W.F.
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