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Labor
Mar 29, 2013 23:56:40 GMT -5
Post by Aish on Mar 29, 2013 23:56:40 GMT -5
Angel Food cake this half-empty bottle of Jacob's Ghost and a velvety vibrating iris keep me company
as I pace the waiting room
anticipating shock waves of metamorphosis.
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siksimon
Demon Disciple
Blind leading the blind.
Posts: 524
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Labor
Mar 30, 2013 6:13:48 GMT -5
Post by siksimon on Mar 30, 2013 6:13:48 GMT -5
I love it! I love unanswered questions, why is she in a waiting room? Who is transforming and into what? Okay, I guess the title says alot, but I can still imagine, XD. The line with velvety vibrating iris flows incredibly well without a pause.
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Labor
Apr 3, 2013 23:52:57 GMT -5
Post by LonelyForsaken on Apr 3, 2013 23:52:57 GMT -5
Few ever consider the depth of a father’s labor pains, beyond sympathy pains, but if he is a good man he is changed just as much as she is.
Your opening strophe is unusually vibrant. :-)
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Labor
Apr 4, 2013 3:27:55 GMT -5
Post by Aish on Apr 4, 2013 3:27:55 GMT -5
Simon, unanswered questions can either ruin a poem or enhance it. Here I hope the layers add depth instead of rankle as too ambiguous. LF, a 1940'$/1950's era father-to-be was somewhat the secondary inspiration
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Labor
Nov 26, 2013 3:17:13 GMT -5
Post by nibbana on Nov 26, 2013 3:17:13 GMT -5
Vibrations and cosmic birthing. The metamorphosis you wait for, is it personal or global? The waiting room is the station, entry and exit port for soul?
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