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Post by Veritas on Dec 6, 2011 16:17:33 GMT -5
In short gasps of breath, his last words Muffled by the hand that took his life...
"They" have beaten us down for far too long
"We" have been kept down & out since the beginning "We" do this to each other, you understand?
Some of us are slaves While others are the hounds Our positions, both chosen & chosen for us
We wash the blood from our hands often Sometimes from a kill Sometimes from our dead...
All of our children pose a threat It only depends on which enemy And which side of the fence...
Ours, has always been a precarious situation One, of much uncertainty & danger
Each age looks to the next for resolution Each staggers through the past Each generation lends their hands ... but to what end?
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Post by Aish on Dec 6, 2011 18:11:06 GMT -5
Very well rendered. The sinister tone is undercut by a hint of futility.
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Dec 7, 2011 3:36:45 GMT -5
Nice! All true. I love the ending.
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Post by Swindle Sheet on Jan 11, 2012 21:17:39 GMT -5
This is a strong piece. The message is obviously something like "look at yourself before you look at the enemy". This causes me to think about star wars for some reason.
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Post by Mikepoet on Jan 15, 2012 18:08:48 GMT -5
This reminds me of something I read in jail once.It was written by a fellow from a certain race and he said the trouble with the race is that they are like a crate of crabs and when one gets to the top of the crate the others will pull him back down into the crate. This writting reminds me of that.
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Post by twistedangel on Jun 30, 2013 2:35:53 GMT -5
be lions or be gazelles the choice to be either is within ourselves really strong write an has stark truths in it..not sure about the futility of the ending tho ? surley our greed is driven to create better lives for ourselves an our children..yeah it aint pretty but then neither is seeing a fluffy bunny ripped apart by hungry wolves really well crafted poem making the reader think an question BRILLIANT
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