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Post by Veritas on Sept 23, 2011 10:19:24 GMT -5
Behind ones shoulder Like leaving...
Tomorrow thousands of Years away...
My pledge not to forget Honored...
Every step of the way
War in heart
and eyes...
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Sept 23, 2011 12:40:32 GMT -5
Wow! Nice. I love it. It feels as if it needs one more line it the end though what it is eludes me. It has a very solitary aspect yet “Brothers In Arms” comes to mind.
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Post by <strip> on Oct 4, 2011 21:18:49 GMT -5
Cold, deadly rage... Quietly seething.
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Post by atomicparakeet on Oct 5, 2011 14:43:28 GMT -5
Tomorrow being thousands of years away evokes an eyeline outside of time. The first two lines confuse me.
I really like "Every step of the way
War in heart
and eyes..." even though it's choppy.
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Post by Veritas on Oct 23, 2011 13:34:27 GMT -5
Partly superstition, throwing salt over your shoulder, partly life moving on, leaving things behind. It is the war that is said to come, the final battle... Choose and be counted.
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Post by RisYerg on Oct 24, 2011 6:07:17 GMT -5
Hi, Mr Veritas! I read it whole and partly - and every time it has sense! Like sand. Like sand. Like sand ... like the line in the sand ...
R.Y.
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Post by Mikepoet on Jan 2, 2012 8:57:11 GMT -5
I think battle is metaphoric to the trials and trivulations of up comeing life. I get a pull self up by boot straps type of thing.
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