Post by Reaper696 on Aug 15, 2005 18:08:21 GMT -5
Sony is suing a 10-year-old for making a terrorist threat at one of their video gamne characters. They claim that during a tournament he lost a certain stage and said "I'm gonna kill you!". RCA has also filed suit claiming an assault charge was committed when he threw the controller at their TV screen...
A homeless person was arrested for pleading the 5th, the problem was the 5th was named Jack Daniels and it was in his hand. Hwas promtly arrested for drunk in public...
A man has filed suit for mental anguish. He claims that when he opened his pizza box the anchovies were still alive. To add insult to injury the anchovies ate the rest fo the pizza. The trial wiil be starting soon...
A CIA agent was assaulted by another agent. ________ claims that _________ told Agent __________ that Mr. _______ was ______ing at _____, _______, and ________. The investigation will be run by _______...
A man is suing an occult restaurant because he ordered soulf food and got a platter full of souls...
The Republican Emisarry Advocating Morals (REAM), along with the Society Urging Care and Kindness (SUCK), are filing suit against the Coors Brewing Company for blantant innuendo in thier slogan "tap the rockies". "We at REAM and SUCK have come together to give heads of Coors a warning: We will not have sex in the manner they advertise" they said in a press release...
A woman is suing Bill Gates claiming their tech support only speaks Indian. Microsoft is currently buying the courthouse...
A pimp is suing the city because they outsourced his entire stable to avoid the wood screw tax...
A man sues a whorehouse because the blowjob sucked...
A white man filed an affirmative action lawsuit against the film industry because he's tired of the black man dying first in movies...
A man was arrested for possessing a biological/chemical weapon. A neighbor called police when she noticed her wallpaper melting and a purple stopping her ceiling fan. When police went to the apartment above hers they noticed that the top of the door was scorched and the doorknob was glowing red. When the CDC arrived they broke down the door and their suits melted onto them when the mysterious cloud encompassed them. The SWAT team then arrived and sent in thier bomb-diffusing robot. When the robot entered the room its tires melted onto the floor and its frame followed quickly. Once the SWAT team noticed it was stuck one of the members tried to move itand it caused a spark within the robot that ignited the cloud which blew the roof off the complex that sat atop a mushroom cloud the size of the Sears Tower. Once the cloud cleared the SWAT team ran into the apartment to find a dimebag of weed with 2 joint taken out, 12 empty Taco Bell burrito wrappers, 15 empty cans of pork and beans, 15 empty packets of Green Giant broccoli and cheese, 22 empty boxes of Atkins' liver and onions, 24 empty bottles of Tobasco sauce, 30 empty cans of Old Style beer, the 400lb. man passed out in his chair, snoring from both ends. When the neighbor was notified the reason she said "Oh, that explains all that rap music"...
A homeless person was arrested for pleading the 5th, the problem was the 5th was named Jack Daniels and it was in his hand. Hwas promtly arrested for drunk in public...
A man has filed suit for mental anguish. He claims that when he opened his pizza box the anchovies were still alive. To add insult to injury the anchovies ate the rest fo the pizza. The trial wiil be starting soon...
A CIA agent was assaulted by another agent. ________ claims that _________ told Agent __________ that Mr. _______ was ______ing at _____, _______, and ________. The investigation will be run by _______...
A man is suing an occult restaurant because he ordered soulf food and got a platter full of souls...
The Republican Emisarry Advocating Morals (REAM), along with the Society Urging Care and Kindness (SUCK), are filing suit against the Coors Brewing Company for blantant innuendo in thier slogan "tap the rockies". "We at REAM and SUCK have come together to give heads of Coors a warning: We will not have sex in the manner they advertise" they said in a press release...
A woman is suing Bill Gates claiming their tech support only speaks Indian. Microsoft is currently buying the courthouse...
A pimp is suing the city because they outsourced his entire stable to avoid the wood screw tax...
A man sues a whorehouse because the blowjob sucked...
A white man filed an affirmative action lawsuit against the film industry because he's tired of the black man dying first in movies...
A man was arrested for possessing a biological/chemical weapon. A neighbor called police when she noticed her wallpaper melting and a purple stopping her ceiling fan. When police went to the apartment above hers they noticed that the top of the door was scorched and the doorknob was glowing red. When the CDC arrived they broke down the door and their suits melted onto them when the mysterious cloud encompassed them. The SWAT team then arrived and sent in thier bomb-diffusing robot. When the robot entered the room its tires melted onto the floor and its frame followed quickly. Once the SWAT team noticed it was stuck one of the members tried to move itand it caused a spark within the robot that ignited the cloud which blew the roof off the complex that sat atop a mushroom cloud the size of the Sears Tower. Once the cloud cleared the SWAT team ran into the apartment to find a dimebag of weed with 2 joint taken out, 12 empty Taco Bell burrito wrappers, 15 empty cans of pork and beans, 15 empty packets of Green Giant broccoli and cheese, 22 empty boxes of Atkins' liver and onions, 24 empty bottles of Tobasco sauce, 30 empty cans of Old Style beer, the 400lb. man passed out in his chair, snoring from both ends. When the neighbor was notified the reason she said "Oh, that explains all that rap music"...