CrimsonAngel
Demon Disciple
.Fallen from the broken gates of heaven
Posts: 305
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Post by CrimsonAngel on Dec 23, 2003 23:12:18 GMT -5
The burning midnight sun rises With the absence of light Blinding me from seeing Everything I thought was right
Every dream I ever had Is left broken and shattered You don’t care to watch me cry But none of my hopes ever mattered
I can’t think of an excuse For carving the skin out of my arm Please tell me this is all a nightmare I want to wake to screaming of my alarm
I’ve pushed away my sanity And now my wounds won’t heal This pain is forever engraved into my bloody skin I will always try but the scars will never be concealed
So will you sit there blindly watching And thinking everything is okay Maybe tonight I can enlighten you As I make my trembling body pay
If I try to fly away Will I get lost within the smoke I know you’d miss me And I fall with my wings broke
It’s so hard to tell Your truth from your lies But I guess it won’t matter As my mind decays and I die
-Note-I know my mom really does care, but shes so blind to what is really going on inside of me....She thinks that she knows everything about me....But she doesn't know that I need help....
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Post by Forsaken on Dec 23, 2003 23:21:09 GMT -5
I really enjoyed this one. Keep up the good work. There are people who care. Trust me.
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Post by black jewelled rain on Dec 23, 2003 23:28:05 GMT -5
Although I like your rhyme scheme, I thought your rythmn was a little off, although it did improve as the poem went on. I totally understand about your mom. I know my parents mean well, too, but they just make things so much worse. I doubt they even know me as a person, anymore. They don't know the first thing about my likes and dislikes.
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Post by lostandalone on Dec 24, 2003 0:00:05 GMT -5
yea well my parents know and dont really seem like they care, my mom said, and i quote, i want you to stop cutting. can you beleave that. i need profetional help for that, its an addiction like cigeretts
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CrimsonAngel
Demon Disciple
.Fallen from the broken gates of heaven
Posts: 305
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Post by CrimsonAngel on Dec 24, 2003 13:07:21 GMT -5
my mom said, and i quote, i want you to stop cutting. can you beleave that. i need profetional help for that, its an addiction like cigeretts I'm really sorry to hear that, but you're right, it really is an addiction......an addiction thats so hard to break....
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Post by Lina Inverse on Dec 27, 2003 4:56:11 GMT -5
The burning midnight sun rises With the absence of light Blinding me from seeing Everything I thought was right Amazing start! I espeically like the "burning midnight sun". The entire poem is full of good imagery, strong language, good rhymes, and most importantly, I can relate. I can relate even to your author's note. My mother tries so hard to help.... but she doesn't understand me at all and ends up making things worse. And she doesn't even realize that she's making things worse, either.... This has been the topic of many a session with my therapist. And as for quitting cutting, I've been working on it for a year now and while I haven't quit entirely nor have urges to cut fled my mind, but discovering a variety of healthy alternatives and overcoming your emotional problems help a lot. It's also good to make yourself promises not to do it--- but realistic ones. Like one of mine that worked really well is "before cutting yourself, try using 5 alternate coping skills." I think only one in five times did I still feel the need to cut after using the 5 coping skills.
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CrimsonAngel
Demon Disciple
.Fallen from the broken gates of heaven
Posts: 305
|
Post by CrimsonAngel on Dec 27, 2003 5:10:46 GMT -5
Amazing start! I espeically like the "burning midnight sun". Thanks...I just realized I use 'midnight sun' a lot in my writing.... And as for quitting cutting, I've been working on it for a year now and while I haven't quit entirely nor have urges to cut fled my mind, but discovering a variety of healthy alternatives and overcoming your emotional problems help a lot. I've tried alternatives...but in the end, I realize that I don't want to stop cutting.....I want to watch the blood drip off my skin and feel the blade as my skin cracks apart.....Maybe its just me, but its that pain that I live for.
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Post by Lina Inverse on Dec 27, 2003 14:36:54 GMT -5
But alternatives work sometimes, don't they? If you can get the same relief from something healthy, you might as well try it.
Or you could even find ways to make cutting healthier--- like make sure your blades are always sterile or find ways to feel pain without hurting yourself as much (I like to clip things to my fingers and just leave them there. They leave a big dent in your finger for about 5 minutes, but after that it's all gone.)
I also have a thing for scars.... And I've found that I can just admire the scars and get the same thing as from cutting.
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Post by softspokenlies078 on Dec 27, 2003 17:33:01 GMT -5
i really liked this poem and can relate just like it seems everyone else can, i dont have a theripist and i dont really know any alternatives or anything but if you have a reason to stop like something you really care a lot about then every time you think of cutting you think of that reason and its not so hard not to do it
i guess im just lucky to have a reason not to do it
hope you find yours -Jess
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CrimsonAngel
Demon Disciple
.Fallen from the broken gates of heaven
Posts: 305
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Post by CrimsonAngel on Dec 27, 2003 23:47:42 GMT -5
I have a reason no to cut...when you love someone, your cutting hurts them too....my boyfriend told me that if I start cutting again, he'll break up with me....and without him I am nothing....he is the only reason I have to not put a shotgun to my head...but that doesn't stop the urges...I guess the past month has been hell cause I haven't been able to cut, but it's also made me realize how different people treat you when they don't see fresh cuts every other day...
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