CrimsonAngel
Demon Disciple
.Fallen from the broken gates of heaven
Posts: 305
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Court
Dec 14, 2003 1:15:28 GMT -5
Post by CrimsonAngel on Dec 14, 2003 1:15:28 GMT -5
Wakes up to the gavel pounding Court is now in session A verdict has been drawn No stopping this progression If a soul could bleed She’d be drowning in her blood If her heart could melt She’d concoct a flood Send out and SOS As smoke fills her lungs Will you save her And put out the fire? Or will you watch her burn with self-hatred She succumbs to the pressures Gashes on her wrists prove it All of this brought upon By never-ending disappointment Heart already split No time to sew a thread She knows the war is ragging Between her mind and heart She can feel the pain of the battles When the razor penetrates her skin Trapped inside her prison The bars are cold and strong Silence is the only sound Lying captive in the sun She doesn’t hid anything Except for everything she doesn’t say The deception is her depression Demons clutter in her head A terror you won’t understand The mutiny she plays against herself When you see her struggles drawn out on her wrist Drawn out for the world to see The razorblade still resting between her fingers Watch the blood drip Puddles form around her life She glances up to you for help Teary eyes and tear stained cheeks You pull her from the ground Pull her from the puddle of blood Wipe her arms clean See the scars that she cut open She falls limp into your arms She’s finally escaped her hell No more self-criticism and hatred Wash your bloody hands and cry
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Court
Dec 14, 2003 19:17:14 GMT -5
Post by caramell11586 on Dec 14, 2003 19:17:14 GMT -5
Awesome poem... I especially like "She doesn’t hid anything Except for everything she doesn’t say"
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Court
Dec 15, 2003 10:17:39 GMT -5
Post by black jewelled rain on Dec 15, 2003 10:17:39 GMT -5
I love the idea of a court that you used for your poem. Just watch your spelling in the line "She knows the war is ragging". I especially loved this line:
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Court
Dec 20, 2003 21:06:58 GMT -5
Post by Lina Inverse on Dec 20, 2003 21:06:58 GMT -5
Wakes up to the gavel pounding Way to begin a poem! I really like the word "pounding" too..... It almost reminds me of a pounding heart, as if you were a witness who fell asleep in court. Sickeningly beautiful imagery. This sounds like anger against the death penalty :-) Down with the death penalty! Do you mean "raging"? And here I think you mean "hide" Wow.... I love all the imagery. I'm guessing that the court at the beginning is a metaphor for how everybody around her judges and condemns her?
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Mistress
Demon Disciple
Eternally Damned
Posts: 405
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Court
Dec 21, 2003 23:49:50 GMT -5
Post by Mistress on Dec 21, 2003 23:49:50 GMT -5
I love the imagery of how the body is seen as a prison. Very well written. Great expression and emotion within...
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