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Post by colourlessthoughts on Dec 9, 2003 19:32:00 GMT -5
*Gives one last breath from outside the back door* Reincarnated as a keyless piano Play the strings like a harp sharp high off pitched sounds make music beauty now Drip your drops of blood from swollen fingers created from my serrated cords Words of laughter heard in my blue note sound They said that words can't hurt but they do now because you create my dialogue with a strum of a bloody finger Singer, I am not yours to have so don't try to hold on because the ride isn’t fun any more Body rotted, sought light given flight from pulling the puppet strings of this body that I gave life Strife put aside because I found love to be one point in the sky You try, but I say trying is dying, is denying, is lying to yourself and I can’t take that anymore So just leave me alone outside this door *Curls up in a ball against the door*
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Post by _black phoenix_ on Dec 9, 2003 19:39:51 GMT -5
welcome to dark star, colorlessthoughts! i am happy that you decided to join. very interesting piece you have here. the mood/atmosphere was quite unique. the last three lines were very effective(i especially enjoyed that part).. great way to finish off your piece. i look forward to more.
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Post by black jewelled rain on Dec 9, 2003 22:10:31 GMT -5
I liked the references to music, and some of the imagery connected to that was very unique and insightful. For example, the "blue note sound". I hope to read much more of your writing in the near future.
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Post by colourlessthoughts on Dec 10, 2003 15:49:07 GMT -5
thank you both very much, it is nice to be read again. i like new brains. We will try to get more complex for your enjoyment.
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Mistress
Demon Disciple
Eternally Damned
Posts: 405
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Post by Mistress on Dec 22, 2003 18:17:27 GMT -5
This poem would make excellent lyrics for a song! In fact, I'd love to see someone make it into a song. I think it would have a lot more effect that way...
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