AxXis
Crimson Soul
I know the pale thing in the darkest of places.
Posts: 218
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Post by AxXis on Dec 2, 2003 0:06:44 GMT -5
Why am I like this? Retreating from happiness. Choking on my words. Wanting to touch you, wanting you to touch me. The things we have done in my head. UnforgivenI can't stand to see you. I can't stand to see me. Feeling this way, everyday.
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Post by _black phoenix_ on Dec 2, 2003 14:42:36 GMT -5
these two lines completely captured my attention..
"the things we have done in my head. unforgiven."
well done.
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Post by black jewelled rain on Dec 9, 2003 9:06:02 GMT -5
I think these lines sum up the feeling of the whole poem. Very true and emotive work. Can't wait to read more.
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AxXis
Crimson Soul
I know the pale thing in the darkest of places.
Posts: 218
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Post by AxXis on Dec 9, 2003 22:53:58 GMT -5
I was trying to convey a story of failure in a small poem. Glad you read it.
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Mistress
Demon Disciple
Eternally Damned
Posts: 405
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Post by Mistress on Dec 22, 2003 20:34:10 GMT -5
I actually really like this poem. It's not extremely long, but it gets straight to the point. Very well written...
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