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Post by DarkRose29 on Nov 27, 2003 10:34:42 GMT -5
I cried myself to sleep last night Because there is so much that you need to know But I can't bring myself to tell you And it's starting to just build up inside me And it's getting harder to deal with And sometimes it feels like I can't breath anymore Like somebody's pushing against my chest So I start breathing hard And I can feel myself slipping away And when it gets bad it really scares me And I feel like I'm suffocating But there is nothing that I can do to stop it And I want to talk to you because you make me so happy But I know that you don't care So I just slip farther into a depression that I can't get out of And I know I scare my friends But I don't know what else I'm supposed to do But once I do it I get very calm And that is when I snap out of it And I can suddenly breath again
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AxXis
Crimson Soul
I know the pale thing in the darkest of places.
Posts: 218
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Post by AxXis on Dec 1, 2003 0:00:58 GMT -5
Good description, but this one was a bit soft I really liked "Life behind the Lies" Keep it up.
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Post by lostandalone on Dec 8, 2003 18:28:15 GMT -5
its really good much better than i can do
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Post by black jewelled rain on Dec 9, 2003 8:24:54 GMT -5
This was a good description of your feelings. Your sense of panick and hopelessness are clearly conveyed. I especially liked the lines:
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Mistress
Demon Disciple
Eternally Damned
Posts: 405
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Post by Mistress on Dec 22, 2003 20:59:03 GMT -5
Very emotive, but a little soft. I understand the feelings all too well, though. Not too bad of a structure. Overall pretty good...
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