DarkenTheSky
Demon Disciple
Beneath the Watery Lust Garden, my Secret Lies. . .
Posts: 392
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Gone
Nov 10, 2003 5:15:31 GMT -5
Post by DarkenTheSky on Nov 10, 2003 5:15:31 GMT -5
Everyone I've loved has left me, Gone away, Left to die Another day.
No one stays, They never do, What the Hell, You'll leave me too.
It just takes time, And then you'll see, That you and I Aren't meant to be,
Because something here Is wrong with me
And no one here Will understand Just why I am The way I am,
Maybe one day, I'll decide to run, Mend my head With a loaded gun,
And I'll be done.
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Gone
Nov 16, 2003 0:15:00 GMT -5
Post by Lina Inverse on Nov 16, 2003 0:15:00 GMT -5
Even with everything leading up to suicide, the ending still shocked me. Brilliant piece
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Gone
Dec 9, 2003 8:29:40 GMT -5
Post by black jewelled rain on Dec 9, 2003 8:29:40 GMT -5
I agree with Lina, I thought your ending was very effective. It was another very well written poem. I liked the rhyme scheme, as it was simple and you barely even noticed it was there. I understand totally how you feel. Great work.
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Mistress
Demon Disciple
Eternally Damned
Posts: 405
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Gone
Dec 22, 2003 20:55:23 GMT -5
Post by Mistress on Dec 22, 2003 20:55:23 GMT -5
Very smooth and well written. I enjoyed reading it and unlike Lina and Sheona, I was not shocked by the ending. I sort of suspected it, but it was good...
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