|
Drowned
Oct 19, 2003 0:20:15 GMT -5
Post by Lina Inverse on Oct 19, 2003 0:20:15 GMT -5
Let the gentle waves tickle my feet As I lie silently, soaking sun Warm yellow rays contrast cool blue sheets Slowly pull me in with each ripple Still the same serenely flowing waves The sun starts to set and I, submerged Calmly sink to the silken tan sand Dragged deeper with every tiny pulse Soon, suffocation. So smooth, even Perfectly painless. And now I am A still gray corpse, sleeping peacefully I died in the oh so gentle waves, I died in the slowly setting sun, I died in deep, eternal slumber, I died ... entirely content.
|
|
|
Drowned
Oct 20, 2003 18:01:32 GMT -5
Post by black jewelled rain on Oct 20, 2003 18:01:32 GMT -5
Eerily serene. This was emphasised by words like 'sleeping peacefully' and 'gentle waves' throughout the poem. I particularly liked the last four lines. It ended it quite nicely.
|
|
Evil Amerigo
Crimson Soul
"I will never feed off the evergreen luster of your heart"--SOAD
Posts: 93
|
Drowned
Oct 20, 2003 23:45:13 GMT -5
Post by Evil Amerigo on Oct 20, 2003 23:45:13 GMT -5
You know what this reminds me off... that book... damn what was it... written by that Jewish guy... about the Korean War oh yeah... I am the Clay The part where the old woman dies in the river...
This is good... very good...
|
|
|
Drowned
Oct 21, 2003 21:17:40 GMT -5
Post by Lina Inverse on Oct 21, 2003 21:17:40 GMT -5
I've never read the book, but I have heard of people dying by drowning. I wonder how it feels?
........actually, probably not nearly as good as my poem makes it out to be.... it would suck to suffocate.
|
|
Mistress
Demon Disciple
Eternally Damned
Posts: 405
|
Drowned
Dec 22, 2003 22:36:10 GMT -5
Post by Mistress on Dec 22, 2003 22:36:10 GMT -5
The imagery is very strong in the poem. I have always wondered what it would be like myself. Maybe one day we could both find out, Lina...
|
|