|
Post by Lina Inverse on Oct 19, 2003 0:17:58 GMT -5
Dry. Thirst. Parched. Throat. Cracked. Lips. Lie. Couch. Need. Rest. Body. Worn. Thirst. Lie. Still. More. Thirst. Stay. Care? No.
Author's notes: My first try of a one-syllable-per-line poem- what do you think? It's about when I felt like such a piece of shit (I had just been harassed) that I just didn't drink anything for a while. I've had a person comment about how there are other meanings to this poem, but I honestly didn't intend them and can't find them. Call me stupid for not being able to find the hidden meanings in my own poem, but PLEASE tell me what you find! I'm curious!
|
|
|
Post by black jewelled rain on Oct 20, 2003 17:47:59 GMT -5
I think this isa very good first attempt!!! I would have saod that this poem is almost a metaphor for your inner-self, instead of just being about physical thirst.
|
|
|
Post by Lina Inverse on Oct 20, 2003 17:54:50 GMT -5
Yeah, it definitely could work that way. I can't believe I didn't think of that before....
|
|
|
Post by black jewelled rain on Oct 22, 2003 19:56:07 GMT -5
Ah! Deep and meaningful obviously comes naturally to you! Lol.
|
|
Mistress
Demon Disciple
Eternally Damned
Posts: 405
|
Post by Mistress on Dec 22, 2003 22:34:15 GMT -5
Simple, yet deep. Not bad, but I'm not too fond of the structure...
|
|
CrimsonAngel
Demon Disciple
.Fallen from the broken gates of heaven
Posts: 305
|
Post by CrimsonAngel on Dec 24, 2003 14:25:26 GMT -5
Mistress took my words...
.....so simple, yet so deep...
|
|