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Post by Lina Inverse on Oct 13, 2003 19:52:18 GMT -5
Balance Beam
A massive building Serves every purpose Brightens the sky With its brilliant smile.
On the outside It eminates the beauty, A reflection Of its perfect interior
But what is Un bâtiment When it's nothing more Than a false glory?
Its framework full of cracks Raised without a single care. Even the inside lies To its very self
Two years stands a perfect building Then it's bound to crumble Then it's bound to fall. A wasteland. A burden.
All along, it stood On an ever shrinking beam Greatness but a hind'rance For when it falls, it falls so far.
Author's Notes: The building is a metaphor for myself. Basically, I was so scared of depression that I forced myself to constantly be happy, and lied to myself and everyone around me. Eventually, I couldn't keep it up, and sank into an even deeper depression.
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Post by black jewelled rain on Oct 14, 2003 6:01:32 GMT -5
I guessed that the building was a metaphor for yourself! It was a very clever perspective to use for your poem. It was original, and I like originality ;D Very cleverly done.
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Post by Lina Inverse on Oct 14, 2003 20:35:20 GMT -5
Thanks. I'm glad you could figure out the metaphor.
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Post by black jewelled rain on Oct 16, 2003 10:42:29 GMT -5
It was a very good metaphor! I'd love to see more poems like this!
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Post by Lina Inverse on Oct 16, 2003 18:46:55 GMT -5
*laughs* I'd love to be able to write more poems like this.
I haven't been able to write a poem like this in a while... Ah well, at least none of my latest poems completely suck.
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Post by black jewelled rain on Oct 22, 2003 19:54:56 GMT -5
Don't be so modest! I love reading your poems. You have a natural talent. I look forward to seeing you develop it!
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Post by Lina Inverse on Oct 22, 2003 21:32:10 GMT -5
No, you have no idea how bad my poetry can get. I have not and will not post my worst poetry. Trust me, it's bad. I'd rather give you the image of a decent poet who doesn't write as much.
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Post by black jewelled rain on Oct 23, 2003 19:24:57 GMT -5
Everyone writes poems that aren't so great. The point is that you ARE capable of writing well. Not everyone is. You can't talk your way out of that one!!!
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Mistress
Demon Disciple
Eternally Damned
Posts: 405
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Post by Mistress on Dec 22, 2003 22:32:56 GMT -5
It's not bad at all. It isn't one of your best, but it definately is not bad...
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