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Tower
Jun 18, 2005 4:02:30 GMT -5
Post by Aish on Jun 18, 2005 4:02:30 GMT -5
Disassociative, and Disorderly i pendulum swing, something inside to sulpher blow this torch -
prerequisites and parasites stagnant breath staid, longing through hatred -
I breathe myself, and wonder how many of these, discordant and dyslexic -
lead the rabble and rallied for my cause.
I am a sinner, juxtaposed. An imaginary figment, violent pigment screening the reel frame by frame -
shall I fall from your tower?
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Tower
Jun 20, 2005 23:54:26 GMT -5
Post by _black phoenix_ on Jun 20, 2005 23:54:26 GMT -5
it feels chaotic, but i know its not. does that make sense? you jump from metaphor to idea, quickly and without grace. but.. its a raw piece of writing. there is no polishing here. the ending ties things together nicely.
im really tired so im sorry if this reply isnt comprehendable(is that even a word?)
cool internal rhyme. kinda funny, but awesome. actually, the only reason its funny is cause i keep thinking pig, instead of pigment. haha jeez ill have to take a look at thise one when my brain is functioning.
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Tower
Jun 22, 2005 14:09:02 GMT -5
Post by Aish on Jun 22, 2005 14:09:02 GMT -5
well, the first line kinda sets the tone. Drunk and aggrevated do odd things to my words...hehe...your assessment is quite dead on. Spank you.
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Tower
Jun 30, 2005 17:16:35 GMT -5
Post by DarkCloud on Jun 30, 2005 17:16:35 GMT -5
Greetings!
I see you getting sober, nice image though.hehehe...
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