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Post by ~Scarlett{}Tears~ on Aug 4, 2003 15:16:07 GMT -5
All i want to say is that i hope you all enjoy this poem because it brings back alot of bad memories and hard times for me. i hope in some way some people will be able to relate.
Mirror Image
Emotional breakdown of a fragile mind Blackmailded, i disconnected My time i rejected The tears that i cry are MINE Unforgettable? How predicatable? All this wasted breath. Opening wounds My scarred membrane A nucleus beaten and raped. Tied by regret Bounded by sadness I fail to only progress. Immobilised by thoughts and contradiction I'm doomed to smile- Still trying to invision i'm healed. I'm nobodies daughter My confessions i slaughter- Upon My final remarks My bleeding showers And disfigured flowers I BLOOM! A trap door concealed beneath With a lock i prevent it No escape enabled No sign Access denied. The sensitivity of my creativity Now tormented by self-infliction I knew i could control my addiction. Faded by betrayal. Blackened by abuse. My own image of myself...
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Post by _black phoenix_ on Aug 4, 2003 22:07:47 GMT -5
i really like "sensitivity of my creativity." great piece. i like the structure.. or lack of structure in this. awesome rhythm. i also like how the rhyme scheme isnt a set in stone type dealy. anyways.. nice work.
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Post by ~Scarlett{}Tears~ on Aug 5, 2003 15:55:48 GMT -5
Thanks alot for the feedback this really is a great site and all the hard work as really made this look great. Well the poem was written when i was really depressed the structure isn't structured if that makes sense? i didn't see the point of structuring something i have no control over! Ah well enough of my rambling...I fail to only progress!
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Post by _black phoenix_ on Aug 6, 2003 14:06:34 GMT -5
oh thank you.. im so happy that everyone likes the site. i spent many nights working into the wee hours of the morning in a halfsleep state trying to make this place the best it could be. i appreciate that you appreciate my work ;D as for the whole structure thing, i find its always best to just let your mind carry you. the best poems are always done without much thought. well.. i seem to think so. a raw and very powerful piece. again, well done.
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Post by black jewelled rain on Oct 13, 2003 12:52:29 GMT -5
This is a very deep and emotional poem. I love the idea of the 'mirror image' that you mentioned in the title and brought up again in the final line. It tied the whole poem together very nicely.
And yes, I felt that I could relate to it. Especially the line 'blackened by abuse'. Very well put.
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Post by Lina Inverse on Oct 16, 2003 18:49:03 GMT -5
You used simply amazing imagery. I loved it.
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Evil Amerigo
Crimson Soul
"I will never feed off the evergreen luster of your heart"--SOAD
Posts: 93
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Post by Evil Amerigo on Oct 21, 2003 18:25:01 GMT -5
Very nice... I especially liked the line
"My scarred membrane A nucleus beaten and raped."
I don't know why...
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Mistress
Demon Disciple
Eternally Damned
Posts: 405
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Post by Mistress on Dec 22, 2003 22:40:31 GMT -5
The imagery and metaphors used throughout this poem really make it seem as though it's something that is happening to you. I can relate to this poem. It's very well written...
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CrimsonAngel
Demon Disciple
.Fallen from the broken gates of heaven
Posts: 305
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Post by CrimsonAngel on Dec 24, 2003 12:00:14 GMT -5
wow....this piece was really good...I think I almost cried cause I can relate to it so mcuh....nice work!!
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