tavarilyn
Crimson Soul
nothing is real but the way that i feel
Posts: 76
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you
Jan 18, 2004 3:19:40 GMT -5
Post by tavarilyn on Jan 18, 2004 3:19:40 GMT -5
Impatience is lurking just 'round the bend. Tearing me down, though I try to defend. And as I wait, In this moment of hate, I can't help but think about you.
Laughter is mocking me from near and far. Slamming through me with dread weight, fast and hard. And though I do know, This is how it must go, I can't help but think about you.
Hate has delivered me into this pit. Damned to eternity, so here I sit. And as I've seen, Thus it always has been, I can't help but think about you.
Love is dragging me back to this life. Up through the layers of detest and strife. And still I sigh, As it passes me by, Because I must think about you.
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you
Jan 18, 2004 3:53:21 GMT -5
Post by Lina Inverse on Jan 18, 2004 3:53:21 GMT -5
I really liked the 3rd and 4th lines of....... every single stanza. They contrasted well with the longer first lines and had good rythm and rhyme and led into the refrain well.
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you
Jan 19, 2004 17:48:44 GMT -5
Post by _black phoenix_ on Jan 19, 2004 17:48:44 GMT -5
wicked metaphors. i really enjoyed this piece.. you have a most intriguing style.
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you
Jan 22, 2004 13:16:43 GMT -5
Post by lostandalone on Jan 22, 2004 13:16:43 GMT -5
and the dark poet says: deadly awsome
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CrimsonTears
Crimson Soul
YOU smashed up my sanity
Posts: 97
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you
Jan 28, 2004 11:30:17 GMT -5
Post by CrimsonTears on Jan 28, 2004 11:30:17 GMT -5
wicked ryme scheme. it was very different. sometimes i get tired of the same rhyme schemes over and over so to me that was a breath of fresh air
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