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Post by Lina Inverse on Nov 15, 2003 19:54:00 GMT -5
Never Worthy
The minute your shrill screams Pierce my sensitive ears, My forehead throbs, Tears stream down my face. Not again. Anything but this.
The minute your condescending words Slap me in the face, I cannot bear it. Your impossible demands Stright through my shyly beating heart.
How can I be accepted? Perfection? Is that the only way? Take away my precious freedom, The only reason I had to live, Then tell me that I must relax.
Always I must improve To suit your strict demands But at all times I must be perfect. I'm sorry. I can't meet your need for me To improve upon perfection.
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AxXis
Crimson Soul
I know the pale thing in the darkest of places.
Posts: 218
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Post by AxXis on Nov 22, 2003 16:58:55 GMT -5
you always have such emotion in your work. I have related to several poems if yours. I can't stand to be wrong, and it seems I am a little even when I'm right. This one says it good. Great Job
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Post by Lina Inverse on Nov 22, 2003 18:31:56 GMT -5
thank you. I'm flattered.
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Sathien
Dark Initiate
Sathien ~ painting the moon black
Posts: 55
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Post by Sathien on Nov 24, 2003 6:57:07 GMT -5
you write a poem. you tell how you feel. and yet. you write as if it was our story you tell.
awesome.
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Post by lostandalone on Dec 13, 2003 17:11:16 GMT -5
this is one of your very best, it is very deep and soul cutting
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Post by Forsaken on Dec 19, 2003 22:07:54 GMT -5
I love this one. You did a great job. A lot of people feel like that, and you told it perfectly!
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Mistress
Demon Disciple
Eternally Damned
Posts: 405
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Post by Mistress on Dec 20, 2003 15:38:40 GMT -5
Everyone feels like that. Humanity is an imperfection, but every human struggles to be perfect in their own way. Many fail time after time and nothing or nobody ever becomes perfect or seemingly worthy.
Truly a great poem, Lina. This type of poem doesn't need a particular structure or rhyme to have the meaning or feeling to it...
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Post by black jewelled rain on Dec 22, 2003 21:50:21 GMT -5
I agree. I truly touching poem that will affect everyone who reads it. I think it is perhaps one of your best.
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Mistress
Demon Disciple
Eternally Damned
Posts: 405
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Post by Mistress on Dec 22, 2003 23:19:25 GMT -5
I don't think it's one of her best, I think it is her best so far...
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Post by Lina Inverse on Dec 23, 2003 0:36:44 GMT -5
You think this is my best? Wow...... I just thought it was kind of..... there......... It's kind of an exaggeration of the truth... .and ..... I dunno, I just don't like it that much. Interesting how we all have different perspectives.
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