Seventy Times Seven
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Post by Seventy Times Seven on Feb 10, 2005 18:39:37 GMT -5
Some of you may find the inspiration to this obvious I used a few lines from a popular source
May I compare thee to a summer's day? So, soft, so, clean, so, far away Torturous and cruel, is love this rough? So, harsh, so, horrid, and i've had enough... of this
We seem to catch up with the winds and storm We seem to lose all the stones in the sand We can't deny it the day so young at heart We can't prevent the taste so bitter, bland Stale from the lack of the salt of the earth Alack, alack, what blood is this which stains Tides of fury red, so, sweet, so, pure, No day is this, but night that bring my pains
Oh, I am fortunes fool All in heaven and hell cast me away Oh, I am fortunes fool The sun stops me from catching but one ray Oh, I am fortunes fool...
God in heaven, hear my prayers, tonight Hell below me, awaits me, grinds its jaws Can you spare me, they say you hold no grudge Supposed perfect, its me who has my flaws This is the time that injured cry for help This is supposed to be, I am myself This is the last you ever cared to spare a dying wish, a cry, unanswered prayer
Oh, I am fortunes fool All in heaven and hell cast me away Oh, I am fortunes fool The sun stops me from catching but one ray Oh, I am fortunes fool The drugs are quick, but with no kiss i die Oh, I am fortunes fool Here the lonliest of all souls will lie
Oh, I am fortunes fool Oh, but a tortured tool Oh, I am fortunes fool Oh, but a broken rule
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Post by _black phoenix_ on Feb 11, 2005 19:55:52 GMT -5
wow.. you have a gorgeous sense of rhythm. this piece flows unlike anything i have read in a very long time. the first line is familiar, but which other ones did you use? it would be a good idea to give credit to the original author. what sort of music would you put this to? just curious. i hope more people get around to reading this one..
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Post by Seventy Times Seven on Feb 11, 2005 20:31:55 GMT -5
Well your right, even if the lines are now public domain
"May I compare thee to a summer's day?" "Alack, alack, what blood is this which stains" "Oh, I am fortunes fool"
all of the above are quotes from shakespeare, although im not sure who
"The drugs are quick, but with no kiss i die" is a change to Romeo's line : "O, true apothecary, thy drugs are quick, thus with a kiss, i Die"
The reason it flowed is because almost every line out of the chorus is in pentameter. 10 syllables, not exactly the same as shakespeare because of the rhythm he used.
Ive got the chords if you want them, but its really just acoustic, kind of quiet and smooth, except the chorus, which is played as a bunch of muted chords
thank you and good night
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