Anita
Demon Disciple
Take The Hurt To The Core Of My Heart and Feel it Bleeding, Pounding,Coming Apart.
Posts: 327
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Post by Anita on Jan 16, 2005 6:35:05 GMT -5
Soul Crucifix
Lead me away… For my anguished soul you cannot slay. Lay on it the cross to carry after Christ, This would suffice…
Put me to death… Scoff at me and watch my crimson sins shed. I’m receiving the due reward for my deeds, God,remember me bleed…
Chorus:
Into Your hands I commit my soul crucifix. Take it down.Wrap it in a linen cloth. Lay it in a tomb cut in stone. They’ll see the strips of linen lying by themselves…
Why do you seek The living among the dead,the weak? I was delivered up into the hands of Sinful men hence Love
Was my only salvation Into this world of vice-drenched creation. My soul must be crucified and rise again Freed of the sinfulness of men…
Chorus:
Into Your hands I commit my soul crucifix. Take it down.Wrap it in a linen cloth. Lay it in a tomb cut in stone. They’ll see the strips of linen lying by themselves…
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Post by Yossarian on Jan 16, 2005 16:29:27 GMT -5
Welcome to Dark Star, Anita. ;D
I'm not a big fan of Christian rock or music in general, but something about this appealed to me...I think it was the wording, very cleverly done, and although I wouldn't call this the best piece of writing I've seen, it's fairly good for a song...the only problem was that it was slightly dull, because I couldn't really feel your emotions...good start, though! ;D
yossarian
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Anita
Demon Disciple
Take The Hurt To The Core Of My Heart and Feel it Bleeding, Pounding,Coming Apart.
Posts: 327
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Post by Anita on Jan 17, 2005 13:53:07 GMT -5
...the only problem was that it was slightly dull, because I couldn't really feel your emotions...good start, though! ;D yossarian Ouch! Couldn't feel my emotions,that hurt! Because I nearly cried while writing it, I get really emotional when it comes to God,you know...Thank you anyway! I appreciate it!
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Post by carpenoctern on Jan 22, 2005 16:16:45 GMT -5
If you nearly cried while writing this, I would say that either these words hold something special for you or this is just a really sad subject to write about...
But amazing nonetheless. Unlike yoss, I would feel your emotion radiating from this piece. Beautiful, truly.
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Anita
Demon Disciple
Take The Hurt To The Core Of My Heart and Feel it Bleeding, Pounding,Coming Apart.
Posts: 327
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Post by Anita on Jan 22, 2005 16:57:17 GMT -5
Thank you so much,it really is very special to me and I felt ..well,awkward when they told me it's flat,you know!Thanx!
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Post by Addrienne on Jan 22, 2005 17:13:33 GMT -5
nice work Anita. I could feel.. half? of your emotion, I do believe.. because I couldn't imagine someone crying while writing this, but it does have a bit of an emotional powerhouse behind it. I'm sure it's very special to you. looks like it'll be a good song. :winkface:
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Post by carpenoctern on Jan 25, 2005 21:46:49 GMT -5
Half emotion?
Anyone can cry while writing something if they are emotionally connected to it in the first place. I do agree that the emotion of this piece is readable on two levels.
a) the emotion in the piece
b) the emotion that went into writing it if you look hard enough.
Oh yeah, if this ever get made into a cd, send me a memo and i'll go buy a copy :smileyface:
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Post by Yossarian on Jan 26, 2005 11:46:02 GMT -5
I agree that the person who was writing the piece can feel emotion, but that emotion has to be translated into the poem so that others reading it can feel the emotion too...although it may just be that I'm not a religious person in the least, there should be many levels to this, and this just seemed kind of flat.
and I must disagree with you carpe, I don't think anyone can cry while writing something they think is emotional, if it touches them deeply, then yes, but I didn't feel how this piece can make someone cry, sorry, I just didn't see it...
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Lychalis
Demon Disciple
Into darkness travels a night heron's scream.
Posts: 368
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Post by Lychalis on Aug 8, 2008 14:53:43 GMT -5
This kinda sounds like or reminds me of an evanescence song, or a HIM song I can't think of which though...
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