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Post by Morning March on Jul 3, 2004 20:21:49 GMT -5
Finality in Quintessence
You take a new machine You build a new machine You take away a dream Cornered they always scream
Raindrop, eye colour bleeds internal red Stinging was the hit to the bloodside of your head
The birth of a machine The death of human being “Don’t you f*ck with my machine!” Cornered I’ll always scream
Pin drop, gunshot, sparks fly like narcotic plot Ringing was the best, the resistance never fought Snake bit, “yeah, the f*cker’s end was never wrought” Time and time again we put off life for a dream we’ve never sought
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Post by _black phoenix_ on Jul 4, 2004 16:18:29 GMT -5
welcome to dark star, ruinyou. ;D
this piece was great.. i really enjoyed the rhyming and flow. very natural. the only think that stuck out was "bloodside".. it felt that it should have been "backside" but i guess thats just me.
anyways, its nice to have you with us. i look forward to reading more.
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Post by littleskinny on Jul 5, 2004 5:15:29 GMT -5
wow - cool. And I liked bloodside.
Trouble with this forum is, I wanna hear the tunes!
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Post by Morning March on Jul 5, 2004 21:13:22 GMT -5
thanks for the feedback... i appreciate it
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Post by Princeofdecosmos on Jul 5, 2004 21:20:29 GMT -5
i loved the 2nd stanze (about the raindrops) i am not into stuff about mathines but i really liked it
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Post by Kitten on Jul 6, 2004 8:31:37 GMT -5
I liked this!
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