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Post by :.:.:KrO NiC DaZe:.:.: on Dec 28, 2003 14:18:22 GMT -5
[glow=white,2,300]"In My Face"
I'm goin thru the same shit everyday, Like a one way cascade Tired of bein betrayed, Bein held in debt by a toll I've already paid My feelins hid by shade, Like a non-stop masquerade I sit back and chill as my life begins ta fade, I slip in ta a daze fore my feelins I evade Wonderin why I ever prayed, My hearts only become more frayed I'm caught in a raid, In a game I've never played Wonderin why nobodies ever stayed, Maybe I jus didn't make the grade Convicing everyone that I'm not afraid, Hidin the fear thats tryin to invade Feelin the blame for this life I've made, While it blows up in my face as tho a grenade[/glow]
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Post by lostandalone on Dec 28, 2003 19:17:06 GMT -5
it is very good but dot worry bout the ryming. the ryme seems forced and poems dont have to ryme, they sometimes actually turn out very well when you dont ryme, but it is actually very good! i like it a lot!
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Post by :.:.:KrO NiC DaZe:.:.: on Dec 30, 2003 11:57:04 GMT -5
thanx...the rhyming in this poem wasn't really forced...I knew what I wanted ta write before I wrote it so I already had the words that were going ta rhyme before I acttually wrote the poem so I kinda wrote the poem around them words so maybe thats why it seems forced...but I do see what ur talkin about
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