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Post by twistedangel on Dec 4, 2015 5:15:06 GMT -5
Silently slipping to harbour Bejewelled masts at night Her wood creaks Shadows of crew...laughter sails on a breeze netted in me ears
I sit with Havana Club an stare Green monsters be here In me own dark depths But I'm no Kraken nor flotsam or jetsam not a castaway For I'm not worth the ballast
Slight dip of her prow I wonder if I were brave...I'd swim to her
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Ship
Dec 6, 2015 4:11:14 GMT -5
Post by twistedangel on Dec 6, 2015 4:11:14 GMT -5
Cheers Ghost...fixed as for the amount of bravery? I'll never know cos i never did
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Ship
Dec 6, 2015 18:39:12 GMT -5
Post by LonelyForsaken on Dec 6, 2015 18:39:12 GMT -5
Nice one Angel. One glaring mistake - she should be slipping out to sea - else there is no need to swim out to her.
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Ship
Dec 8, 2015 2:58:28 GMT -5
Post by twistedangel on Dec 8, 2015 2:58:28 GMT -5
Heya LF tho I tried to make this short...without waffling on....I guess I ignored some imagery. ..the ship tho in a harbour wos anchored all alone in the middle of it about 300 meters ish off shore Also having not put pen to paper for a while...i feel kinda rusty both in writing an reading poetry
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Ship
Jun 16, 2016 23:51:00 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by stillmick on Jun 16, 2016 23:51:00 GMT -5
I really like this. The setting. A ship in the harbour. That draws me in. The good write is a bonus. A ship in the harbour, a hundred ways to go from here. .
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Ship
May 8, 2017 2:21:40 GMT -5
Post by koiali on May 8, 2017 2:21:40 GMT -5
I love the imagery it gave me. "Her wood creaks Shadows of crew...laughter sails on a breeze netted in me ears" That's my favorite part. I also love a short line of the ending of a poem. I think having a brief, but well written ending is a great talent that not everyone possess. Great stuff
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