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Post by Aish on Nov 5, 2014 12:00:53 GMT -5
Thieves sleep in the palms of my hands, dreaming moonlight slivers of that rarest jewel:
actualization.
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Post by markusmagellus on Nov 5, 2014 20:55:14 GMT -5
I was expecting this to end with "Youth". Kudos for being more awake than most.
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Post by nibbana on Nov 5, 2014 21:45:17 GMT -5
Maybe " in" is not necessary in third line.
Beautiful and aching, Aish.
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Post by Bastet on Nov 6, 2014 2:20:22 GMT -5
I'm going to agree with Nibbana about removing that second "in".
Nice tight little piece.
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Post by Aish on Nov 7, 2014 13:41:40 GMT -5
Youth would work as well, lol. Who wouldn't jump at the chance to be young and full of promise again? I have a rather fugly birthday rapidly approaching.
Edited out that second " in". Thanks, lovelies.
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Nabi
Crimson Soul
Posts: 115
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Post by Nabi on Nov 7, 2014 20:36:05 GMT -5
Amazing.
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Post by Aish on Nov 8, 2014 12:54:08 GMT -5
Nice to have you back, little butterfly.
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Post by windfog on Nov 10, 2014 3:30:15 GMT -5
You are great!
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Post by twistedangel on Nov 12, 2014 14:09:36 GMT -5
Miss Thickey here had to google 'actualization' cool tho cos then it all fell into place great piece
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