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Post by untitled on Oct 26, 2014 3:05:18 GMT -5
That nice kid down the block always laughs and smiles and seems to get through all of life’s trials
He’s too nice Too nice to say no Kids cheat off him He lets them go
A girl he once fell in love with All her shows he would attend But when he told her the truth, She said: “Let’s just be friends”
That nice kid down the block His life isn’t all that good What people think about him, They are misunderstood
And that same kid, The one who everyone uses Always wears long sleeves To hide his cuts and bruises
He goes home every night And locks himself in his room So that when dad comes home He can escape his drunken fume
He longs to have a friend, But no matter how hard he tries They use him for the moment And depart without goodbyes
And on his special day His party no one did attend No one wished him a happy birthday Not even his best friend
That nice kid down the block, Though his life is still a wreck, Tonight it’ll be over When the rope goes round his neck
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Post by twistedangel on Oct 26, 2014 3:21:05 GMT -5
Hiya an welcome to DS...apparently thers rules an stuff but I never read em meself but am sure a mod will tell you about them I think some are not gonna like the rhyme but for me I love this...is a topic I could chat about for ages, tho for meself id put the rope round me antagonists neck enjoy your stay
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Post by untitled on Oct 26, 2014 3:31:26 GMT -5
thanks!
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Post by untitled on Oct 26, 2014 15:34:25 GMT -5
thanks
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Oct 26, 2014 19:42:04 GMT -5
The rules Angel mentions are here; darkstarpoetry.proboards.com/thread/7387/dark-star-poetry-posting-guidelinesDon’t fret over the 3 to 1 rule too much. We know it can be hard to get started but we expect some effort. Personally, I found it to be one of the best learning tools I ever found. It forces us to really examine poetry in many forms and think about what we like/don’t like and why. The poetry board is the only one where we require feedback. IMO quatrains are the best place for rhyming and this works for me. A sad poem I think many will find easy to relate to. Well done. I look forward to reading more of your work. While I was blessed with a good dad I know many who weren’t but that girl seems to be the only one I’ve ever met. I have to agree with Angel and Jaguar, I wasn’t expecting a suicidal finish. The “nice kid” theme would lead nicely into bloodthirsty one. Suicide would do no good. Dad would learn nothing and feel no guilt. Now a rope around dads’ neck… I’d smack that horse on the ass myself.
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Post by krourya on Oct 29, 2014 13:09:27 GMT -5
to me..this was the saddest part 'cuz maybe it's one of the lowest points in one's life:
And on his special day His party no one did attend No one wished him a happy birthday Not even his best friend
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