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Post by twistedangel on Sept 11, 2014 16:35:07 GMT -5
When it becomes too much When I forget The dead eye look creeps upon me face Like some veterans 1000 yard stare
I go back to the first time A moment from memory All sights sounds smells Those vivid faces below Recapture butterflies, nervous excitement Dont fluff a well rehearsed routine
Sweat prickling under hair Stood still for eternity waiting, alone Waiting for the music 200 pairs of eyes
5 inch black stilletoes, ankle boots Laced tight White mini dress of knit wool Tied back of neck, no bra Red thong, hair raven black Loose Snail eyes willing me on Inside, feelings of fight or flight
Smoke descends, lights flash Neon blues, phosphorous whites In time with bass beats The Grid, I Can See Cowboys (panic thoughts of I should be a cowgirl...too late) So do wot I do best Dance
Falling body an soul to rhythm Only spacial awareness keeps me grounded Podium an I at one Nothing else exists...until Dress hits floor, crowd roar Mess up a step landing back on Earth Back to savage eyes
On me, over me inside me Urging on turning on
Some tell of 'sexual empowerment' I say tis only bravery To be desired by so many,if but briefly
Last seconds as panties are pulled away A moment stood for all to see Liberated, venerated Fires arousal for being wanted
These half lies I feed upon That first time I felt so strong All drugs wear, 100th hit no longer the 1st
I still dance a husk in war paint Going thru motions
I see faces no more
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Erosion
Sept 11, 2014 22:07:42 GMT -5
Post by windfog on Sept 11, 2014 22:07:42 GMT -5
A lot of emotions and images. Pain and despair. Great piece! W.F.
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Erosion
Sept 13, 2014 18:21:11 GMT -5
Post by LonelyForsaken on Sept 13, 2014 18:21:11 GMT -5
Good one Angel. All “drugs,” even empowerment, have that elusive quality that keeps us chasing after the first high. There is only one that seems different but even it loses its luster if not shared.
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Erosion
Nov 6, 2014 5:03:51 GMT -5
via mobile
Aish likes this
Post by Bastet on Nov 6, 2014 5:03:51 GMT -5
Poetically speaking I think you need to work on fluidity. Read this aloud a few times if it helps.
Emotionally, this made me feel dirty and used and uncomfortable and voyuerist. So major points for that.
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Erosion
Nov 7, 2014 13:44:20 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Aish on Nov 7, 2014 13:44:20 GMT -5
I am going to echo Bastet, Angel. It's a good piece, but with a little poetic finesse it could be great.
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Erosion
Nov 10, 2014 3:31:42 GMT -5
Post by windfog on Nov 10, 2014 3:31:42 GMT -5
I love you, lady!
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