ama
Dark Initiate
I live, same as the next person.
Posts: 44
|
Post by ama on Jun 27, 2014 12:35:56 GMT -5
The neighbors are f*cking again. One slab of meat slapping off the other: greedy, porcine. He grunts, she grunts. My cigarette heats a fingernail bringing me back to my own frigid hands. I ping it far enough to land in their garden. She squeals; her Polish is music. I wonder if she sounds like that when he's out of her. I see my empty bed and my eyes fall c*ntwards.
|
|
|
Mousing
Jun 28, 2014 7:51:18 GMT -5
Post by windfog on Jun 28, 2014 7:51:18 GMT -5
Cool! To avoid it - change your flat, Ha-ha! Irony. Real irony with a, why?, little bit sadness. W.F.
|
|
|
Mousing
Jul 17, 2014 3:23:12 GMT -5
Post by Aish on Jul 17, 2014 3:23:12 GMT -5
I'm up late because my neighbors have been keeping me up. Fighting, not f*cking, but some of the overlap is interesting. No crit. This is a wonderfully slightly disturbing piece of voyuerism (disturbing in the sense that it's damn realistic and humbling). You have meat, greedy, porcine, and squeals. Screw you (*joke). Your penultimate and final lines are superb.
|
|
|
Mousing
Jul 17, 2014 14:42:16 GMT -5
Post by goldfinch on Jul 17, 2014 14:42:16 GMT -5
Excellent piece, you have real talent.
|
|
|
Mousing
Jul 18, 2014 0:12:02 GMT -5
Post by twistedangel on Jul 18, 2014 0:12:02 GMT -5
nice really really nice implied emotions..or the emotions I read into this such short write are amazing the frustrated anger at having to listen to bitter revenge (if but childish) of flicking the nub end to jelousy at the end loved this
|
|
|
Mousing
Jul 18, 2014 1:39:28 GMT -5
Post by LonelyForsaken on Jul 18, 2014 1:39:28 GMT -5
So, I’m not the only one LMAO! Love this. Been there too often, way too much voyeurism in my life. "Porcine"is an awesome word choice. This reminds me of a favorite Pink Floyd line; “Some men burn a fiery red at the vision of an empty bed.”
|
|
|
Mousing
Jul 18, 2014 13:18:29 GMT -5
Post by Bastet on Jul 18, 2014 13:18:29 GMT -5
Superb. This is exactly what I wanted to read right now.
|
|
mee
Crimson Soul
Posts: 117
|
Post by mee on Aug 6, 2014 6:57:31 GMT -5
when you can't hear no one next to you , to block the sound of their next to each other,,,,,
|
|
|
Mousing
Nov 6, 2014 4:57:32 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Bastet on Nov 6, 2014 4:57:32 GMT -5
** bump**
Digging and re- reading tonight. You rock my world, ama.
|
|