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Easy PC
Mar 11, 2014 18:10:49 GMT -5
Post by twistedangel on Mar 11, 2014 18:10:49 GMT -5
To re-boot a life Go back to a before Infected memory files, wiped clean Yet defragging only compartmentalises, corrupted lives When every day becomes, a hard drive
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Easy PC
Mar 12, 2014 17:35:16 GMT -5
Post by nibbana on Mar 12, 2014 17:35:16 GMT -5
You might need a wee bit more of an intro, it's kind of stunted as is. "Yet" reads a little funny. I really like the theme of this piece. The defragging corrupted lives part is DOPE.
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Easy PC
Mar 13, 2014 12:43:15 GMT -5
Post by LonelyForsaken on Mar 13, 2014 12:43:15 GMT -5
Oh so very clever I would remove “Yet” in L5 and change “When” in L7 to “and.” I like it.
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