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Post by Aish on Nov 2, 2013 0:41:18 GMT -5
Sabbath watches me, winds around my shoulders with whispered disdain and gives up the first ghost *cinquain transplanted from the challenges board
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Nov 2, 2013 3:48:49 GMT -5
At first I had trouble connecting "Sabbath" till I remembered your cat. Cute image.
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Post by windfog on Nov 6, 2013 1:25:14 GMT -5
Lady! I got this piece like a "goy". All are exactly as you wrote. Wonderful piece! Thank you! W.F.
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Post by Bastet on Nov 7, 2013 15:31:33 GMT -5
The first passes I made through this felt like a spiritual pull. Like when you get away from the Sabbath rituals it haunts you and almost becomes personified. It's an entity.
Then I read LF's comment and it was all completely different.
I think it's effective either way, th ough my first impulse is the only one that qualifies for this board.
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Post by Aish on Nov 8, 2013 0:25:08 GMT -5
I appreciate the comments.
Great memory, LF.
Ris, that is such an awful term, lol.
Parakeet, hell yes.
I realized tonight this is not a cinquain. I wrote it while pathetically tired and counted words instead of syllables. So help me this maturity thing is a bitch.
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Stealth
Jul 16, 2014 3:41:38 GMT -5
Post by Bastet on Jul 16, 2014 3:41:38 GMT -5
Eh, just knock off that cinquain note then. It's a right smart piece in my opinion. Just enough abstraction.
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