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Post by Veritas on Oct 31, 2013 20:15:13 GMT -5
The facts have long been obscured ... and reason has become a tool for propoganda We've played our parts too well ... got lost in this ideal pointing fingers at our fellows far too used to selling each other out Highest bidder or higher power rats and watch-dogs turn on one another ... like embittered lovers The worship of this nightmare is strong ... Faith misplaced ... Hatred, is a beautiful thing
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siksimon
Demon Disciple
Blind leading the blind.
Posts: 524
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Post by siksimon on Oct 31, 2013 23:14:08 GMT -5
I like it, it is solid, and to the point. Refreshing, I've been looking for something fresh like this to ponder upon.
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Post by windfog on Nov 1, 2013 5:46:47 GMT -5
I agree with every single line in this piece! W.F.
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Post by twistedangel on Nov 1, 2013 10:01:08 GMT -5
i did find meself nodding along to this in agreement..until the last line, maybe i missed the point but IMO isnt the hatred the problem ? short an concise an flows well..great poem
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Post by Veritas on Nov 1, 2013 10:41:28 GMT -5
It is a cynical, sarcastic chort of disdain Appreciate the above comments.
-LMS
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Post by Aish on Nov 1, 2013 14:55:09 GMT -5
Typo in your title, should be ' deceit '.
I dig the piece and sentiments within, but I think your opening may not possess enough quantifying information for the average reader. You have no concrete subject identified.
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Post by Bastet on Nov 1, 2013 17:19:13 GMT -5
I had to read this a few times, but I think I got it.
(Aish is prolly just sticking up for my stupid ass)
Your talent really shines darkly in these types of pieces. Jmo
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Post by Bastet on Nov 1, 2013 17:21:31 GMT -5
Oh and you squashed together 'each other' in L7.
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Post by Veritas on Nov 1, 2013 17:29:09 GMT -5
Thnx for the duh... typo, though it is left open on purpose. Also thnx parakeet, I habittualy do that to eachother & oneanother..lol
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mee
Crimson Soul
Posts: 117
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Post by mee on Aug 1, 2014 7:02:44 GMT -5
sold at the throat where we scream in hope
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krake
Crimson Soul
Posts: 79
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Post by krake on Aug 5, 2014 19:07:12 GMT -5
Wonderful piece, very well done.
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