Post by LonelyForsaken on May 17, 2013 16:04:05 GMT -5
You keep touching me deeply my friend. I’m not at all surprised to be the first to respond to this raw display of soul reaching emotion. There is nothing easy in any of it. I extend to you my hand of gratitude but that leads to an embrace of compassion and understanding. *hug*
It would be easier to leave it at that but I cannot. Sigh!
I remember a time of shamelessness, when I was consumed by anger, brought on by the unfairness of it all. When I prolonged my pain and anguish while believing I dulled and drowned it in drugs, alcohol, sex, and hate. When I fell and did not want to get back up.
"Caved in
Ensconced by night as dark as sin
Bruised and broken and numb and overcome
The places I've been; they are not for the young
You get CHANGED
Burnt to ashes
Crumbling
Disfigured
Cracked
Shattered"
Yet the pieces remain and you have the strength to gather them again. In those pieces I found shame. It is an ugly peace and we do not want to pick it up. There are even worse pieces to be found but to be whole again we must put them all together again. You can change them you know. That piece you keep finding in the second drawer, you’ve expressed your desire to change it, and you will. Your path is so familiar to me yet still your own to tread as you see fit. What can I give you but my understanding and when I was shameless I did not want that. The avalanche that knocked me down was the largest of them but in the digging out there will be more. I carried the piece of guilt around for far too long before I swallowed its cascade. Its weight still haunts me. Without a doubt “CHANGED.” I did not do it all alone though. I tried to. My poem “Pity” is an expression of why, and though I’m damned strong, I’m not that strong.
It would be easier to leave it at that but I cannot. Sigh!
I remember a time of shamelessness, when I was consumed by anger, brought on by the unfairness of it all. When I prolonged my pain and anguish while believing I dulled and drowned it in drugs, alcohol, sex, and hate. When I fell and did not want to get back up.
"Caved in
Ensconced by night as dark as sin
Bruised and broken and numb and overcome
The places I've been; they are not for the young
You get CHANGED
Burnt to ashes
Crumbling
Disfigured
Cracked
Shattered"
Yet the pieces remain and you have the strength to gather them again. In those pieces I found shame. It is an ugly peace and we do not want to pick it up. There are even worse pieces to be found but to be whole again we must put them all together again. You can change them you know. That piece you keep finding in the second drawer, you’ve expressed your desire to change it, and you will. Your path is so familiar to me yet still your own to tread as you see fit. What can I give you but my understanding and when I was shameless I did not want that. The avalanche that knocked me down was the largest of them but in the digging out there will be more. I carried the piece of guilt around for far too long before I swallowed its cascade. Its weight still haunts me. Without a doubt “CHANGED.” I did not do it all alone though. I tried to. My poem “Pity” is an expression of why, and though I’m damned strong, I’m not that strong.