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Post by windfog on Feb 20, 2013 2:14:21 GMT -5
Morning. Rain. On a cold window pane Limpid rain's paws interlaced. A new day tries to smile From behind of a water veil.
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Post by Aish on Feb 25, 2013 11:54:52 GMT -5
Hi, Ris!
I'm going to suggest a few tweaks:
"Morning rain, limpid paws interlaced on a cold window pane as a new day tries to smile from behind a liquid veil."
Lovely sentiment in this piece. Soft and delicate.
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Feb 25, 2013 13:03:01 GMT -5
Nice imagery Ris. :-)
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Post by 6sa6an6 on May 6, 2013 6:00:30 GMT -5
These are my kind of elements. This piece has a place in me. And Day's smile is distorted behind that gray veil.
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