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Post by Rhiannon on Jan 20, 2012 22:31:32 GMT -5
You danced upon the dunes your love unrequited and Your anger fierce you burned in the fire once, angel of darkness, and burn again you shall
you know of what I speak is true so back into Hell I send thee, for your father waits for ye you may tell him it was Melinda who sent you back
The game is over for you, there will be no coming back this time For TRUE LOVE will always win If you have not learned this by now, then you are a fool.
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Jan 25, 2012 21:14:26 GMT -5
I love it. Passion, Love and hate. Triumphant! A lesson to be heeded.
While I would not change a word, your word choices are very good, I would remove a few and make a few small changes in line breaks. I’ll PM you with suggestions.
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Post by Rhiannon on Jan 27, 2012 23:49:14 GMT -5
to be honest it's sorta an excerpt from a story of mine and tried to do the stanza thing, but I'll be happy for suggestions thanks
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