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Grime
Aug 10, 2011 13:56:21 GMT -5
Post by Aish on Aug 10, 2011 13:56:21 GMT -5
Hypocrite teeth mold words of deceit and disdain against swollen lips and broken tongues.
Soliloquy doctrine festers unseen beneath grimy history.
Crowbar hands seldom soothe the bruises of penitence.
Sack cloth leaves the third eye blind.
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Grime
Sept 15, 2011 1:32:31 GMT -5
Post by atomicparakeet on Sept 15, 2011 1:32:31 GMT -5
This is unusual for you. No transitions. I want to like it, but maybe it is too choppy?
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Grime
Oct 24, 2011 22:50:31 GMT -5
Post by Swindle Sheet on Oct 24, 2011 22:50:31 GMT -5
The imagery in the first two stanzas is very strong. They "feel" dirty.
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