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Post by Veritas on Jan 12, 2011 20:27:21 GMT -5
It builds in the center of ones chest like a slow & terrible eruption it causes discomfort & unrest scattering all emotion confusing devotion & obsession rending mind from body inducing a frantic, drunken condition ... skin, livid with pain without peace moment, second minute, hour, day... buried alive screaming nerves afire from breathing simple pleasures have lost their meaning personality... self defeating... mirrors crushed into shiny dust their reflections, blinding ... loss of voice or perhaps the willingness to speak the oracle bearing the bouquet of the bleak the human shivers feverishly weak of limb from lack of sleep ...bio-electro-chemical fire splendiferously replete with misanthropy
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Post by 2standalone on Jan 23, 2011 19:11:17 GMT -5
This captured me. The rhythm wasn't childish as often it can be. Love the imagery and the emotions that come with it. Hopelessness... very well done. "the oracle bearing the bouquet of the bleak." this line stood out to me.
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Post by _black phoenix_ on Jan 25, 2011 21:26:02 GMT -5
The flow in that last bit! Wow... So natural and smooth. Im impressed, Pete.
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Post by Kitten on Jan 27, 2011 19:54:38 GMT -5
I keep reading this and leaving and coming back. SO kudos for the hook and food for thought.
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Jun 30, 2011 18:36:55 GMT -5
Hi Veritas
“buried alive screaming nerves afire from breathing” I know how you feel.
Misanthropy – I know this too and I often feel the same way but I chose something different and perhaps more balanced but certainly difficult. Love and hate are one and the same. Opposite ends of the same question. I love and hate humanity. It is an irony and is at the core of my contradictive persona. I can replace “Misanthropy” in your poem with “Love” and it fits just as well for me. Am I alone in this I wonder?
This is a very good write. You touch me deeply. You do this often. As with much of your work I see no way to improve upon it.
Thank you for sharing.
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Post by RisYerg on Jul 22, 2011 2:14:49 GMT -5
Clap, clap, clap! R.Y.
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Post by Swindle Sheet on Nov 21, 2011 21:07:49 GMT -5
This is mad good. When I read this piece I was reminded of repression. Like an internal or external repression that renders one's voice silent.
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