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Post by naturaldisaster on May 29, 2008 16:11:35 GMT -5
Everytime I think I'm in love, Someone or thing knocks it down.. My heart hurts from the countless breaks.
My first love saw me as a sister, and went out with my friend.. Sounds pretty bad huh..
My second, My dad kicked him away. And I'm doing the same.
My third. I thought he would be different than the others. Wrong.
He loves weed more than I, and because of this.
I guess happiness isn't for everyone. I will mostly likely never find someone, who deserves me.
My last controlled me with friends. And I didn't even notice it. I wish to say sorry.
But I doubt you guys will be happy with just that. Some said he wasn't worth my time. And all I did was ignore them.
Love is a scary thing. It can make you feel like you on top of the world. Or like you only belong in hell....
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Post by colourlessthoughts on May 29, 2008 16:31:09 GMT -5
This is a poem? dig into the feeling. Something most definitely is wrong. I wonder what it is. Search a little.
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Post by Dead Moon Child on May 30, 2008 11:23:17 GMT -5
Your piece seem a little classic and simple, that pertain to reality with a lack of creative. But other that, It a good piece that need something more. Keep on writing.
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Post by xxxmorbiddreamsxxx on May 30, 2008 12:38:09 GMT -5
oh ya... lainie told me what happened, srry.
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littlewhipmaker
Demon Disciple
Who understands pleasure, without a little pain...
Posts: 438
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Post by littlewhipmaker on Jun 16, 2008 0:19:11 GMT -5
I think you need to try and elicite more of your own emotion...this seems to be telling a story without giving us the feeling behind it....just a thought...
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Post by blutengel666 on Jun 18, 2008 19:35:40 GMT -5
I really liked the feeling you put into this. Honestly it was raw and i love how it was almost spoken, i could hear you reading it almost. I really liked it =3
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