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Post by lucialee on Jun 16, 2008 23:46:11 GMT -5
I miss you I hate this f*ck what I feel I can down it I can drowned it This isn’t all real
You think I still love you But what you don’t know Is I don’t need anything to Help me let go
I can fake out my hatred And leave you behind And if you don’t believe me try me, see what you find
I’m not your ex-girl Or a means to an end Why can’t we just plain and simply Be friends.
But you need someone to blame For when you bitch and you moan But I’m not the one that turns Your words to stone
You did it yourself f*ck you and f*ck your pride Listen for a while and You might see how you are inside.
COLD
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Post by 2standalone on Jun 17, 2008 11:32:11 GMT -5
nice venting in this.. i enjoyed the emotion.. very good
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Post by _black phoenix_ on Jun 18, 2008 10:58:04 GMT -5
Its always difficult critiquing work in the Rage board.. Typo in there. I honestly couldnt feel your emotion in this piece. Your wording/situation was just too generic/common for me to really latch on at first. Ah, I think we all go through this at least once. Sometimes its better to just let everything go, otherwise its too hard to forget it all. Men are much better at this than women im quite sure. It felt like you started to touch on some of the more vital and interesting parts of your situation.. I would have liked seeing a little more rage.. A little more creativity and uniqueness to your write.
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