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a poem
May 19, 2008 23:52:17 GMT -5
Post by lucialee on May 19, 2008 23:52:17 GMT -5
I want to cut the umbilical cord between me and reality I want to be stuck in a state of disillusion f*ck all your norms Go away f*cking logic. you don’t make any sense to me
I’m ready to go home I ready to give up and I think I will This will be my little suicide note Hope that all can read what I wrote
f*ck all those people Who tell you you’re wrong All they do is hurt you And force you to belong
f*ck all these people Who don’t understand You are the only one that matters
f*ck all these people who Can’t give you time They’re are not worth it so just f*cking leave them behind
f*ck all these people Who treat you like rugs I want to know what’s wrong with a Hug!!!!
f*ck all your crying Cause nobody cares They just want you to be there When they have theirs
f*ck all this drama and sadness and woe I’m leaving this place And no you can’t go
I want die in a place so cold that Not even the most arctic of animals freeze
I want to scream so much that I can’t Feel my voice I JUST WANT TO DIE
GOOD BYE
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a poem
May 20, 2008 0:03:35 GMT -5
Post by _black phoenix_ on May 20, 2008 0:03:35 GMT -5
Welcome to Dark Star, Lucialee! If you havent had the time to look around yet, just wanted to let you know a little about our forums.. DS is a constructive community. I hope you like receiving feedback on your work as well as helping others grow. We enjoy honesty around here, so dont be alarmed by blunt comments or critique. Should be fun having you with us. Hope to read more poetry and comments from you soon. - Leash P.S. Your poetry will probably get more reads with a descriptive or eye catching title.
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a poem
May 20, 2008 0:43:02 GMT -5
Post by lucialee on May 20, 2008 0:43:02 GMT -5
thanks for the welcome...
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wkdclwn
Dark Initiate
Dimension of Imagination
Posts: 33
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a poem
May 28, 2008 17:20:40 GMT -5
Post by wkdclwn on May 28, 2008 17:20:40 GMT -5
I personally think this would make a good heavy metal song. I can practically hear the guitars and drums slam away.
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borntodie
Dark Initiate
LIVE, LOVE, BURN, DIE
Posts: 24
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a poem
Jun 10, 2008 10:12:13 GMT -5
Post by borntodie on Jun 10, 2008 10:12:13 GMT -5
I personally didn't think this was incredibly poetic, but thats only my opinion and it probably wasn't what you were aiming for anyway. However, I really liked it. I know I've had my f*ck the world moments and definitely have more to come and this poem held that raw truth.
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