suicideangel
Dark Initiate
What am i to do when the world turns dark and cold?
Posts: 24
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Post by suicideangel on Mar 4, 2008 9:23:21 GMT -5
Is this it? Is it my time? The razor on the floor, Has commited my crime. The crime of suicide, The crime of death, What can i say? There is nothing left. Nothing left for me, Nothing left for you. So killing myself, Is the only thing to do. Is this it? Is it my time? As I cut my wrist, And watch the time pass by. The blood pours out, it stains the floor, Someone comes, They come running throuh the door. As the final blood drops I say goodbye, I think it is my time, My time to die.
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Post by estrin on Mar 8, 2008 11:42:32 GMT -5
i really loved this poem... it was simple and thats what made it beautiful... people can create their own imagination of why this situaton came in place.. nice
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Post by brokenwingedangel on Mar 8, 2008 12:01:07 GMT -5
I have to agree with estrin, it is simple, and so very poignant as the same time, and I was captivate by the intensity of the middle...
So killing myself, ((Is the only thing to do. Is this it? Is it my time? As I cut my wrist,))
So simply put, but such a strong image comes to my mind.
I like it, job well done.
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Post by colourlessthoughts on May 21, 2008 15:42:55 GMT -5
Not so much... a little bland/generic... throw words like Blood, razor, suicide, wrist, stains, into the cookie cutter and this is what you get.. drab and surface driven.. tell us what you cut in to? yes, a wrist, but what did the wrist consist of. A life, what of the life. Use the five senses. Grow within the feeling.
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