borntodie
Dark Initiate
LIVE, LOVE, BURN, DIE
Posts: 24
|
Post by borntodie on Jun 22, 2008 22:30:38 GMT -5
a clumsy story written with haste on battered parchment the author unknown the moral, a waste
unobservant eyes see only fading ink the colors are bleached the words are blurred the truth, it sinks
the pages misplaced nothing makes sense but familiar confusion you will always accept it's worth the expense
burn Your own story so you can breathe you'll soon understand these words you live for don't mean a damn thing
|
|
|
Post by Kitten on Jun 22, 2008 22:38:21 GMT -5
The title was my favorite part. The rest was a bit daft.
[a clumsy story - why is it clumsy? what story? written with haste on battered parchment the author unknown the moral, a waste] - moral about what? also if you read that "the author unknown the moral, a waste" makes no sense.
[unobservant eyes see only fading ink the colors are bleached the words are blurred the truth, it sinks] - what truth? why does it sink??
[the pages misplaced nothing makes sense but familiar confusion] -- I can definitely relate to the confusion here.
[burn Your own story so you can breathe you'll soon understand these words you live for don't mean a damn thing] -- I still don't understand..what words do I live for..and ..what?
PS: the questions above are rhetorical. They're just meant to show how confusing, utterly vague this piece is, it makes it so much harder to connect.
|
|
|
Post by 2standalone on Jun 23, 2008 14:11:41 GMT -5
I think its supossed to be a bit hazy. Not every piece is supposed to give you a full back drop.. otherwise every poem you read would be alike in a really boring way.. sometimes you have to have an imagination and make the story your own.. INFER.. have a bit of fun. everything cant be spoon fed to you.. that just wouldnt be interesting.. and i would be drooling.. This makes perfect sense to me. I like it- keep it up you are improving..
|
|