Claire
Demon Disciple
You are drinking from your glass of life while mine is long time empty.
Posts: 489
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Post by Claire on Jan 17, 2006 18:20:10 GMT -5
Moan into my parted lips, Burn me from the inside.
Breathe me in, And suffocate.
Eternal love.
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Claire
Demon Disciple
You are drinking from your glass of life while mine is long time empty.
Posts: 489
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Post by Claire on Jan 22, 2006 16:03:54 GMT -5
Your love, deliciously cocooned within me, is my light in your dark, cold heart.
I lay starkers, beneath you - breathing, living this one moment of weakness, over and over again.
and again
and again
again
until i fail to feel the light, tasting salt and bitter-sweet denial.
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Post by lesser animal on Apr 27, 2006 9:01:51 GMT -5
you begin: Moan into my parted lips, Burn me from the inside.
i love the erotic overtones in this stanza. maybe a cold shower is in order.
you say: Your love, deliciously cocooned within me, is my light in your dark, cold heart.
perhaps a bit cliche in the last line of this stanza but gets the point across. you definately love this person.
your exasperation is apparent here: living this one moment of weakness, over and over again.
your weakness is your love for this person but you fail to feel the light which means the love is not returned. humbled you fall back, digressing back into a more defensive stance.
good piece of work in that in gets your point across. ;D maybe incorporate the two posts into one full length poem.
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littlewhipmaker
Demon Disciple
Who understands pleasure, without a little pain...
Posts: 438
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Post by littlewhipmaker on Apr 27, 2006 21:02:05 GMT -5
Wow...i really like this...its kinda melodramatic in a sexy way. It reads in my mind all breathless and heated. Great stuff
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Claire
Demon Disciple
You are drinking from your glass of life while mine is long time empty.
Posts: 489
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Post by Claire on Jul 20, 2006 14:08:19 GMT -5
Have you seen an angel cry within the hands of your goodbye, while sounding strangled sobs of loss and missing you and him the most?
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Claire
Demon Disciple
You are drinking from your glass of life while mine is long time empty.
Posts: 489
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Post by Claire on Jan 10, 2007 6:07:42 GMT -5
Brought you roses, m'lady! With sharp petals and a stem of steel, If you're good, m'lady, i'll love you until...
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