queenie
Demon Disciple
Timor mortis conturbat me.
Posts: 539
|
Post by queenie on Feb 22, 2005 20:44:58 GMT -5
Was having a moan On the dog and bone To my very dear Skin and blister Then I jumped in a sherbert To drop of my Herbert At Jah Rule with all The other tea pot lids I’d scheduled a date Didn’t want to be late Meeting at the rub a dub dub We started to talk Then we went for a walk When things got A bit out of hand He didn’t see it a miss To grab my thr’penny bits So I said piss off Have an Arthur J Rank
Not entirely happy with this, and its still a work in progress, but just testing what I've got so far out on you.
Q
|
|
|
Post by LORDMORNINGSTAR on Feb 22, 2005 21:11:56 GMT -5
Diggin it so far my qeen... the British slant adds a fine air to it...
|
|
|
Post by Reaper696 on Feb 22, 2005 22:19:51 GMT -5
Huh???...
|
|
|
Post by DarkCloud on Feb 23, 2005 12:55:18 GMT -5
agree with reaper sorry....quite didn't get it.
|
|
|
Post by Midnight on Feb 23, 2005 15:03:48 GMT -5
Thought it was cute. But got lost when you jumped from Jah rule to tea pots XD
|
|
queenie
Demon Disciple
Timor mortis conturbat me.
Posts: 539
|
Post by queenie on Feb 23, 2005 19:12:29 GMT -5
Excellent this piece had the desired effect. I can here a lot of head scratching and what the effing.
By way of explanation (I know you don't agree with this Star...its cheapens us all lol).
Had a convo with Star about Cockney rhyming slang (think Mary Poppins) and said I would try writing a piece heavily using the aforementioned evil slang. Its was a damn sight harder than I thought it would be, and its a fairly pants poem. but interesting by way of experimentation.
Its said that Americans and Brits are serperated by a common language so here is the translation...
I was complaining On the phone To my dear Sister
Then I jumped in a taxi To drop of my child at school With all the other kids
I’d scheduled a date Didn’t want to be late Meeting at the pub (bar)
We started to talk Then we went for a walk When things got A bit out of hand
He didn’t see it a miss To grab my breasts So I said go away And masturbate
Ahh so much lost in translation!
Q
|
|
|
Post by Kitten on Feb 23, 2005 19:15:13 GMT -5
Teehee I got that except for the first two stanza. Enjoyable!
|
|
|
Post by desrt2 on Feb 23, 2005 20:46:26 GMT -5
Like a multiple part lymerick. Probably some official name for it huh? If you are concerned with meter, then there are several instance to be fixed. I'm also half expecting a more developed theme. Like a nurdery rhyme allegory.
|
|
|
Post by DarkCloud on Feb 24, 2005 10:49:36 GMT -5
hehey now I get it. pretty fun 2 read the last stanza. that guy what a perv!
|
|
|
Post by Mikepoet on Feb 25, 2005 15:11:18 GMT -5
Ditto to Lordmorning star...
|
|
|
Post by Yossarian on Feb 25, 2005 15:14:23 GMT -5
haha! the brits are, without a doubt, one of a kind! understood (almost) every word without the translation...great work!
*high five!* ;D
|
|
|
Post by Aish on Feb 25, 2005 15:57:10 GMT -5
Tryin' to decipher this was half the fun! (but thanks ever so much for the interpretation, I was gettin' most of it wrong)
|
|
queenie
Demon Disciple
Timor mortis conturbat me.
Posts: 539
|
Post by queenie on Feb 28, 2005 17:39:30 GMT -5
Thanks for the comments boils and ghouls...
Wasn't worrying to much for meter and had to throw you all a bone with decription as so much slang is shortened that the rhyme is dropped...hence taxi cab = sherbert dab is shortened to sherbert...but confusingly a sherbert is also a term for a beer/larger/champagne (anything with a fizz really) in non ryhming slang.
Glad you liked!
Q
|
|
|
Post by Reaper696 on Feb 28, 2005 17:43:56 GMT -5
Oh Ok, gotcha. Speak English next time ...
|
|