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Post by Reaper696 on Feb 1, 2005 18:27:54 GMT -5
I swear Loki has me on speed dial, Since my endeavors Become nevers... One day, I saw an angel Who I had to card a few times, But whenever our auras intertwined I couldn't stop eating my shoes, Resulting in a repellant relationship. There was one time My heart had a brunette calling, She had the nicest set Of priorities. Her frame Was as sweet and exotic As a non-McDonaldian milkshake. Well Loki must've had A load of laxatives to lay upon her, Since she had to run and regulate herself Far away from the fiber of my being. Good ol' Loki Leaves layers of levity That limit and lament my life; Many cups Switched to defacated coffee And iced pee, The constant heart transplants, Ever doing the twist So lemon sublime. You have no idea How tired I am Of being shagged By Screwby Doo...
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Post by LORDMORNINGSTAR on Feb 1, 2005 19:10:11 GMT -5
Even in poetry you amuse yourself, and this is certainly amusing, picked up on the "clever" female descriptions, and though there is good in it, I do no not consider this a serrious poem, but that sir is only my personal opinion...
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Post by Reaper696 on Feb 1, 2005 19:19:56 GMT -5
Though it wasn't meant to be serious (hence the title), it was merely a personal challenge to myself to curveball (if you twist enough, you either snap, or end up at the beginning) even my own writings. Thanks for reading this...
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Post by LORDMORNINGSTAR on Feb 1, 2005 19:23:19 GMT -5
One questio though, why "norse code" the only one mentioned was loki.
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Post by Reaper696 on Feb 1, 2005 19:28:40 GMT -5
It was the only one I could remember and the pinnacle of this poem. I wrote this while I was just getting to know the net and research wasn't my strong suit, I just went with what's in my head...
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Post by LORDMORNINGSTAR on Feb 1, 2005 19:48:29 GMT -5
Whats the excuse after you've had the benefit of hindsight?
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Post by Reaper696 on Feb 1, 2005 20:02:06 GMT -5
I'll tell you tomorrow...
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Post by Aish on Feb 2, 2005 2:03:30 GMT -5
Although it all made me chuckle, I really have ta give ya props here:
[Good ol' Loki Leaves layers of levity That limit and lament my life; Many cups Switched to defacated coffee And iced pee, The constant heart transplants, Ever doing the twist So lemon sublime.]
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Post by Reaper696 on Feb 2, 2005 18:06:25 GMT -5
This one's been buried for a while, glad to see it still has its point. Thanks for reading this...
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Post by Yossarian on Feb 2, 2005 18:10:44 GMT -5
that stanza chrys pointed out was beautiful, reaper, and it did make me chuckle...
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Post by Reaper696 on Feb 2, 2005 18:20:51 GMT -5
I tend to be twisted when I write so I'm trying to write the unwritten (which is where my smart-assedness kicks in), it's loads of fun. Thanks for reading this...
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queenie
Demon Disciple
Timor mortis conturbat me.
Posts: 539
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Post by queenie on Feb 6, 2005 10:08:38 GMT -5
Twisted lil piece. I enjoy pondering, that it their are immortals, they're probably all senile pranksters with an apalling sense of humor. You've done that idea some humorous homage. Kudos.
Q
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Post by Reaper696 on Feb 6, 2005 17:35:37 GMT -5
:coolface: ...
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Post by carpenoctern on Feb 6, 2005 18:53:29 GMT -5
I laughed a lot while reading this. You seem to have a natural eye for this kind of thing.
~Her frame Was as sweet and exotic As a non-McDonaldian milkshake. Well Loki must've had A load of laxatives to lay upon her, Since she had to run and regulate herself Far away from the fiber of my being. Good ol' Loki Leaves layers of levity That limit and lament my life; Many cups Switched to defacated coffee And iced pee, The constant heart transplants, Ever doing the twist So lemon sublime. You have no idea How tired I am Of being shagged By Screwby Doo...~
This was especially nice. I really liked the tip of the hat to "Scooby Doo" in the last stanza, and the alteration of his name was amazing
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Post by Reaper696 on Feb 6, 2005 18:57:26 GMT -5
Inspiration's everywhere, and that's the fun part. Thanks for rwading this...
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